I live in California, but was invited to an old friend’s wedding on the East Coast, so I scheduled time off work, purchased plane tickets for my family and booked a hotel—all BEFORE the bride told me it’s an adults only wedding. Now I either have to try to find a sitter for my two year-old daughter in a completely unknown state or my husband is going to stay in and watch her while I attend the wedding solo.
I feel like all of this could have been avoided with better communication. What’s the best way to let guests know your wedding is for adults only?
Frustrated in Fremont
We’re so sorry to hear about your dilemma, but we are glad you are voicing your concerns. By not letting guests know about an adults-only policy early, engaged couples can seriously upset their guests or even force them to change their RSVP if they are traveling from out of state, like you are.
If you are getting married and you’d like your guests to keep their little ones at home, it is considered inappropriate to write “No Children” on your invitations. Here’s what we recommend instead:
- Write only the names of the parents on both your inner and outer envelopes.
- If parents call to inquire about whether or not they can bring children, be gentle but make your intentions clear. We suggest something like, “We will be unable to accommodate Jenny and James. They would be frightfully bored, and I would hate for you to have to leave early to take them home.”
- Hire a babysitter or two for the evening. Do your research and make sure you find someone reliable and with good qualifications. That way out-of-town guests and locals alike will be able to find accommodations for their little ones!
If you are still having trouble finding a sitter for your toddler, ask the bride for help. She should be able to reach out to friends and coworkers to find a good sitter in the area who can give you and your husband the chance to enjoy the wedding without worrying about your little one’s safety.
If you have a question for our staff of experts, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll post it on our site and give you some of our very best advice!