Did your parents seem sane and well adjusted right up until you started the wedding planning process? This letter from a reader might just speak to you:
I’m currently planning my wedding, but everything seems to have ground to a halt over the invitation wording. My parents are divorced, and my mother remarried but my father has not. My mom wants to include her new husband’s name on the invitations, but my dad won’t hear of it. They are at a complete standstill!
Please help. Any advice you can offer will be greatly appreciated.
Under Invitation Arrest
The Divas’ Response:
You poor thing! It sounds like the stress of the wedding planning process is taking its toll already, but the good news is that you have some options:
- You can list your parents separately with their distinct last names. For instance, it’s perfectly acceptable to write, “Mr. Tom Smith and Mrs. Jane Jones…“
- Most etiquette books will tell you to include your stepfather only if he had a hand in raising you. If you choose this option, the text would read, “Mr. Tom Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Dan and Jane Jones…“
- Our personal favorite—simply write, “Together with their parents…“
To be frank, if your parents can agree on so small a detail, you are completely justified in bypassing the situation entirely with the “Together with their parents…” option. You aren’t leaving anyone out, it’s perfectly acceptable in terms of etiquette and it might help diffuse and otherwise stressful scenario.
Thanks for writing in, and best of luck with the rest of your wedding planning!
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