Dear Divas:

My fiancee and I are having two separate receptions due to the fact that she lives in one country and I in another.  Given geographies and differing religions we decided to have the main ceremony and reception in her country since she comes from a much larger family.  Here in the US we will have a small symbolic religious ceremony and a cocktail reception afterward as more of a “get to know the bride” type reception.

Since we will already be married when we have the US reception, I’m not sure what to have written on the invitation.  Any suggestions?

Thanks,

Wondering Wanderer

Dear Wondering Wanderer,

Lucky you!  Two weddings to plan in two different countries!  Thankfully, the wording is not very complicated in this situation.  Instead of listing your name and your fiancee’s maiden name, you’d simply list yourselves as Mr. and Mrs (insert married name here).  You’d also change the wording of what exactly you’re inviting your guests to attend.  Instead of saying “the wedding of” or “the marriage of”, you can say something like “to recognize their marriage of” or “to celebrate their marriage”.  For example:

Mr. and Mrs. Wondering Wanderer

Request the pleasure of your company

to celebrate their marriage.

Good luck and happy planning!

Dear Divas,

I am getting ready to buy my invitations.  I’ve been doing a ton of research online and I’ve pieced together a loose outline of what I want my invitations to say.  Before I get them printed, though, I wanted to make sure that my wording followed standard invitation etiquette.  Are there any phrases or words I should avoid?  What should I do to make sure my invitations are worded correctly?

Wordy Wedding Planner

Dear Wordy Wedding Planner,

This is a great question, and you’ve come to the right place–after all, we are the Wedding Paper Divas!  Before I go in to details, be sure to check out the new Etiquette Tool available when you are ordering wedding invitations from Wedding Paper Divas.  This tool will make it easy for any bride or groom to word their invitations.  Simply input specific details like names, places, and times and we will generate the perfect wording for your invitation!

Aside from the etiquette tool, there are certain things you should definitely avoid when writing your own wording.  You mentioned that you searched online to piece together an outline of your wording–be careful!  Gathering wording from different sources often does not flow well when pieced together.  Levels of formality can change from sample to sample and you can end up with an invitation that changes tone throughout.

Also, try to avoid the use of confusing or vague pronouns, or changing the voice throughout your invitation.  (i.e. “We invite you to our wedding” or “Their wedding will be on…”).  Make sure that the people getting married are mentioned by name.  Only use “We” or “Us” if you are the hosts and you are having a more casual wedding.

Finally, use wording that makes it clear who is hosting the wedding.  Never say something like “Come join us for the marriage of celebration of John & Jill”. Who is us?  The bride and groom?  The parents of the bride?

As you can see from these tips, it’s important to maintain the voice and level of formailty throughout your wording and to make the hosts clear.  For more tips, check out our Wedding Invitation Etiquette Page, and happy planning!