To cut costs, I would like to have only the people listed on my wedding invitations attend my wedding. Is there a way to suggest that plus-ones are prohibited without seeming tacky?
Also, what is the most polite way to say “no children” or “adults only” and where do we state this?
Wedding etiquette regarding plus ones has changed in recent years and there are a few things to consider when preparing your guest list.
The most traditional way to tackle your question is to address only that person’s name on the inner envelope. When allowing people a “plus one” write “and guest” on the envelope. Since most people aren’t as familiar with that formality, you can limit it on the response card or include a small note—where you can ask your guest to list the name of their guest so you can properly address them on the seating chart and place cards.
If you do not wish to invite kiddos to your wedding, simply exclude their name from the invitation. You should never write “no children” or “adults only” on the invite, but if you want to be completely clear you can include “Adult Affair” on the RSVP card. You can also tell each guest how many are invited, using this format: “We have reserved ____ seats for you.” You could enter “1″ there for people who aren’t allowed to bring a date or you can use “___ of ___ will attend” if they’re allowed a guest.
Additional things to consider when inviting guests:
Proper etiquette states that you should invite guests who are living together—not only the married ones.
Also, you should always invite both members of a couple if they are married. Not knowing someone’s partner is no excuse for excluding them from the invitation.
Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and she’ll post an answer for you.