Tag Archives: wedding etiquette

June 25

Etiquette Chat Recap

Thank you to all participants of our Facebook etiquette chat this morning. We had a wonderful time answering your questions with our wedding etiquette expert, Amber Harrison.

We’ll update with a few top questions (and their answers!) shortly.

put down the phone

As a thank you to all participants, we are offering ten free samples AND 10% off your next Wedding Paper Divas order. Please see below for exclusions.


* Enjoy 10% off your order using the code at FBCHAT10 checkout. There is no minimum purchase required for this promotion. Offer is not applicable to previously placed orders, shipping, taxes, rush processing charges, and excludes photo books, calendars, and gift certificates. This promotion code cannot be combined with other offers and is valid for one-time use only. Offer is only valid on Wedding Paper Divas and is not applicable on third party or partner websites. To prevent abuse, we reserve the right to discontinue or modify this offer at any time without notice. We reserve the right to cancel any order at any time. Offer expires 7/31/13 at 11:59 pm (PT).


January 15

Martha Stewart Weddings Facebook Chat

We are very excited to announce that next week we will be doing a live Facebook chat with our friends at Martha Stewart Weddings. This is a wonderful opportunity to have your personal questions answered by stationery, etiquette and planning experts from Martha Stewart Weddings and Wedding Paper Divas. Not sure how to kindly ask your wedding guests to leave their children at home? Wondering if your save the dates need to match your invitation design? Join us next Tuesday and let us help.

What: Live Facebook Chat with Martha Stewart Weddings
When: Tuesday, January 22 from 10-11 a.m. Pacific (1-2 p.m. Eastern)
Where: The chat will take place on Martha Stewart Weddings Facebook page – we will see you there!


In addition to having direct access to editors from Martha Stewart Weddings and our very own stationery experts, you will receive 10 free samples and be entered to win up to $250 from Wedding Paper Divas just for participating. You can see all the rules and details here.


August 28

Ask Etta: Wedding Envelope Etiquette

While we dish about the hottest trends and latest designs, we also know how stressful prepping for the big day can be. Meet Etta, our expert in all things etiquette. She’s ready to delve into your every dilemma.

Justine Asks…

I love the look of your embossers for the return addresses on my wedding invitations and RSVP cards! But I’m wondering if the post office can actually read them? I would hate to get the invitations done and then none of them make it back to me.

Etta Says…

You can definitely use the embosser for your wedding invitations for your return address and the post office will absolutely be able to read it. In addition to the embosser you can also use one of our custom stamps for your return address on your wedding invitations. If you are still a little unsure and want to take all precautions you can check with your local post office because each one may have different rules.

For your RSVP cards we recommend using a calligrapher for your return address because with the mechanics of the embosser we feel it works nicely when the return address is on the back flap of the envelope. Allow at least 2-3 weeks for the calligrapher and make sure you allocate time for collecting everyone’s addresses too because this can take a lot of time and is often overlooked.

Another option for your RSVP card is using one of our custom stamps for the front of the envelope. It would look like the photo below but your return address would be in the middle of the envelope.  Remember to also include postage on the response cards for your guests and have the return address go to the person in charge of the responses. This is usually the person who is hosting the wedding but often times can be the bride.

Etiquette for Addressing Wedding Envelopes:

If you have decided to use inner envelopes, this is the place to mention exactly who is invited to the wedding. You can use familiar names on the inner envelopes such as “Uncle Charles and Aunt Beth” and any children that are invited.

The other envelope is the more formal of the two and should be addressed conventionally. Titles can be abbreviated but all other words should be completely spelled out (no St. or Dr. here). For state names you can write it in full or use the two-letter abbreviation.

If you are sending invitations to a married couple be sure to address both, even if you already know only one can attend.

If you are sending invitations to an unmarried couple living together you should address both on one line. Example:  “Ms. Shirley Adams and  Mr. Ben Smith”

The most frequently asked question: How to do I address a “guest?”

It is a little impersonal to address your outer envelope as “Mr. Alex Brady and Guest” so when you are using the two envelope system this works well. You can address the outer envelope to “Mr. Alex Brady” and the inner envelope can read “Mr. Alex Brady and Guest.”

If you are only using one envelope you would only include “Mr. Alex Brady” and that would signify only one guest is invited to the wedding.  If you would like to invite a guest and only have one envelope you could include a short note in the envelope stating they can bring a guest and to let you know as soon as they can with the RSVP.

Etiquette for Stuffing Wedding Invitation Envelopes:

  • If you are using two envelopes insert the invitation (the folded edge first if it is folded, the left edge for a single card invitation) so that when the envelope flap is opened you will see the printed side.
  • If you have enclosures (reply card and envelope, map, printed directions) they are placed on top of your invitation, printed sides up, in the size order with the smallest card on top. Again, make sure when the envelope is opened the printed side is visible. If the invitation is folded, the insertions are stacked in size order, with the smallest on top, but within the fold.
  • The inner envelope is then sealed and placed inside the outer envelope so when the outer flap is lifted, the names of the guests will be visible.

Checking Postage
Before you buy stamps you should definitely take an assembled invitation to the post office to have it weighed. If you have out-of-town guests and will be inserting directions or maps, make sure to bring this invitation as well and weigh both separately as it will be heavier. Keep in mind if you have an unusually shaped envelope there is usually extra postage required.

While you are at the post office you can also inquire about the different types of stamps they have or check a wider variety online.

Hand-Canceling: The Extra Care for Your Wedding Envelopes

If you are worried your wedding invitations might get damaged in the postage machines at the post office you can request hand-canceling. Instead of the machines printing bar codes on the envelopes, the stamps are marked by hand and will ensure nothing is bent or torn in the machine. This will keep your invitations looking neat and pristine. This isn’t required but if you want that extra touch this is an option for you!

We hope this answered all of your wedding invitation envelope questions and more! Good luck planning!


Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at etta@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.


March 13

Ask Etta: How Long Do I Have to Send Thank You Cards?

While we dish about the hottest trends and latest designs (aka the fun parts of wedding planning!) we also know how stressful prepping for the big day can be. So, we would like to formally introduce you to Etta, our new etiquette expert. She’s ready and happy to delve into your every etiquette dilemma. 

Michelle Asks…

Guests have a year to give wedding gifts… do we have a year to send thanks?

Etta Says…

Sadly, no. Etiquette suggests sending thank you cards almost as soon as gifts are received. While I know this poses problems when you are jetting off to your honeymoon following the wedding, but here’s a tip: write your cards on the honeymoon (flight, that is!) and post them from an exotic locale. You’ll have something to keep you busy with on the flight and you’ll get your thank yous out right on time!


February 7

Ask Etta: Destination Dates

While we dish about the hottest trends and latest designs (aka the fun parts of wedding planning!) we also know how stressful prepping for the big day can be. So, we would like to formally introduce you to Etta, our new etiquette expert. She’s ready and happy to delve into your every etiquette dilemma.

Laura Asks…

I’m having a destination wedding (in the US) so no need for a passport, when should I send the wedding invitations? Also, RSVP date is six weeks prior to wedding day.

Etta Says…

For invitations, I recommend sending them no less than eight weeks (preferably 3 months) before your wedding. This gives guests plenty of time to clear their calendars for the event and make all the necessary travel arrangements.

Timely invitations also allow you to make the RSVP date earlier—about 3-4 weeks before the wedding. I don’t recommend setting the RSVP date any later than 2 weeks prior, just to allow you and your future hubby plenty of time to put together your seating chart, catering totals, etc—and most importantly, to avoid any unnecessary stress!

Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.


January 17

Ask Etta: A Plus One Dilemna

While we dish about the hottest trends and latest designs (aka the fun parts of wedding planning!) we also know how stressful prepping for the big day can be. So, we would like to formally introduce you to Etta, our new etiquette expert. She’s ready and happy to delve into your every etiquette dilemma.

Melissa Asks…

My friend and her boyfriend broke up recently and he was her plus one (sent our save the dates). Will she still expect to have that plus one or can I get away with only inviting her on the wedding invite?

Etta Says…

Well, this certainly is a tough one. It all really depends on how the save the date was addressed. If it was addressed to the friend by name and guest, then your friend may still expect to receive an invitation that allows for her to bring a guest, in all fairness. If the save-the-date was addressed to her boyfriend also by his name, then she will probably understand when the invitation is sent only addressed to her. The best suggestion I have would be to call the friend directly and explain the situation, and ask if she intends on bringing a guest. This will avoid any confusion when it comes time to addressing invitations.  Most likely the friend will completely understand limitations in space, budget, etc.

Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.


January 13

Rant or Rave: Un-Asking a Bridesmaid

For one reason or another, sometimes the occasion arises when a bride-to-be has to ask a bridesmaid not to be a part of the wedding. Whether it’s because of a falling out, financial reasons or something much more complicated—this is a topic with heated opinions.

Here is a what a few of our Facebook fans had to say:

“Yeah, if you’re also uninviting her to the wedding. I feel like the only thing that could justify such a move would also justify a breach in the friendship.” -Brenda

“I would say it would depend on the situation. I didn’t have to un-ask anyone but our wedding is a little less than 4 months away & one of my bridesmaids dropped out. Sad part is, I thought she was my best friend. Weddings let everyone’s true colors shine!!” -Amanda

“Ha… Yes, it sure is!!! this is one of the most special days of my life & your bridesmaids are supposed to be your closest friends/family. If they don’t bother to care about it, then they don’t deserve to share the day with you!” – Nicole

“i dont think its respectful to un ask them…unless they cant afford it.” -Becky

“Kinda I wish I could start over and make more dependable friends and have them be my maids:(” -Amber

Would you ever un-ask a bridesmaid? Did you have to do it? Do you wish you would’ve? Rant or rave!


January 10

Ask Etta: Wedding Etiquette Made Easy

While we dish about the hottest trends and latest designs (aka the fun parts of wedding planning!) we also know how stressful prepping for the big day can be. So, we would like to formally introduce you to Etta, our new etiquette expert. She’s ready and happy to delve into your every etiquette dilemma. Starting with this one…

Blake H. Asks…

My fiancé and I will only be giving guests an option to indicate that they’d like a vegetarian entree since we are not sure what type of meal we’ll be serving just yet (budget dictates that if fewer people RSVP yes, we can serve filet; whereas if we get have more people responding yes, we may have to serve chicken). Can you suggest how to appropriately word this on the response card?

Etta Says…

This one is definitely tricky! My suggestion would be to omit meal options on the response card altogether, and instead add the following:

“Please list any dietary restrictions” like so:

This way, you’ll be aware of all your vegetarians/vegans/non-red-meat-eaters/allergies/pescatarians/only-chicken-eaters (you get the point). Since it’s not required to give guests a choice on their meal, I recommend this route versus explaining that their meal choice may change. If you want to get really specific, you can add this information to your wedding website (if you have one), explaining that there will be a plated entrée served but it’s subject to change based upon dietary requests and venue availability.

I hope this helps, Blake!

Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.


October 21

Rant or Rave: Wedding No-Shows

We don’t think anyone would debate that RSVPing for a wedding and then not showing up is a big no-no. (Or not even RSVPing in the first place.) But we want to hear your opinion on the whole matter…

Not showing up to a wedding costs the bride and groom a ton of money that goes straight down the drain. Is there a good excuse for not showing up? Do you think guests understand how much their attendance really costs when you add it all up? And, lastly, have you ever been a no show? Tell your side of the story. (We promise, we won’t judge.) Rant or rave!


September 2

Brotherly Love: Tips from a Groomsman

We’ve decided it’s time to show a little love for the guys. Each month, we’ll share tips and stories from real-life groomsmen about what it’s like to be part of a friend’s wedding. So listen up groomsmen-to-be, this is for you!

I’ve been an usher, a groomsmen and a groom. Being a groom was definitely my favorite, but just to be involved is an honor. It’s also a lot of fun. It’s like having a VIP pass to your friend’s most important life experience. One question is always inevitable: “What does a groomsman do?”

It’s an excellent question, and I’m afraid far too many guys don’t really know. The primary duties include planning a bachelor party, donning a tux, smiling for the camera and getting people out on the dance floor. There’s another duty, however, that I feel needs to be discussed, and that is to say, “Thank you.”

When the groom chose you to be his groomsman, he bestowed upon you one of the highest honors in the male social order. It’s a gracious gesture that deserves to be responded to in-kind. Here is how I propose you do it:

Man up. This means no sarcasm, mumbling under your breath or immediately switching the topic of conversation. Say it like you mean it, and let it sink in. For some guys, this may be the first emotionally mature conversation they ever have—think of it as a rite of passage into manhood.

Be thoughtful. Challenge yourself to say a bit more than, “I love you, Man.”  Maybe that says it all, but at least give this some concerted thought before you say it.

Keep it simple. Building on the previous point, say as much or as little as you feel is necessary to get your point across, but short and sweet sometimes has the greatest impact.

Say it while you’re sober. Before you crack the first beer at the bachelor party, or take that first sip of champagne on the big day, let him know how important his friendship is to you.  You’ll be happy you did.