I dread party games with a passionate dislike akin to my feelings for karaoke or line dancing. That being said, I have been to a few showers where the games actually made the entire event more fun. Whether you use games to break the ice, entertain your guests or embarrass the bride, here are a few references to help you get started planning party games that will make your party happier—not horrifying!

• Project Wedding has some cute bridal shower game ideas, including “In Her Words,” which involves writing down what the bride says as she opens each gift (think, “How did you know I wanted this?!”) and then reading back her responses as what she’ll say on her wedding night.
• June Wedding offers some of her own ideas about what makes a bridal shower game fun instead of fearsome, including tormenting the bride with a “get read for your honeymoon in the dark game” instead of tormenting guests with another round of charades.
• Celebrations features a fun list of ice breakers, including one where all guests write a brief synopsis of their first kiss on a card, toss them all together and then try to guess which kiss belongs to which attendee. Unfortunately, in this game, mine would be the only scenario involving Denny’s and a plate of mozzarella cheese sticks.
• Weddings Galore takes the bridal shower game a step further, with entire themes crafted around the idea of fitness, gardening or things a bride simply can’t live without.
• Love to Know has some funny ideas for couples’ showers, including “Love Duets” karaoke. I know I said I hate doing karaoke, but watching the bride and groom sing ridiculous songs to each other sounds too good to pass up.

I recently received a bridal shower invitation that actually listed out the cup size and other measurements of the bride-to-be in what seemed to be a clear indication that she is hoping for lingerie gifts (even from Grandma and Great Aunt Lou!).

This unusual break in invitation etiquette sparked a discussion among the divas about lingerie bridal showers. Some of them have attended lingerie showers in the past, but they said they were meant to be funny—that the bride-to-be had to guess who brought each ridiculous, hot pink lacy leopard print lingerie item as a kind of fun shower game.

Have you ever been to a serious lingerie shower? Are you planning one? Would you ever publicly list your measurements in a covert request for lingerie? Rant or rave about lingerie bridal showers!

Dear Divas,

I am having an intimate wedding (~40 guests). The guests will include family members and the bridal party. My two bridesmaids are interested in planning a bridal shower for me. I have thought of having close friends who are not invited to the wedding to the shower. I DO NOT want gifts from the shower guests. I would, however, like guests to have the option to contribute quotes, antidotes, words of wisdom, etc. during the shower.   Is it proper etiquette to invite friends to the shower who are not invited to the ceremony, even when gifts are not solicited?

Warmly,

Giftless Girl

Dear Giftless Girl,

It is totally understandable to want to keep your wedding guest list down but still be able to celebrate with everyone that is close to you.  However, regardless of whether you are asking for gifts or not, it is not proper etiquette to invite people to your wedding shower that aren’t invited to the wedding.  Regardless of your intention, it will  set the expectation that they will be invited to the wedding.  When they don’t receive an invitation, it may result in hurt feelings or people feeling offended.  Although you may request no gifts, it is doubtful that everyone will comply.  Many people actually want to buy gifts to help you start your new life.  So, although you may request it, there is no guarantee that they won’t bring gifts.

The best thing to do in this situation is to either broaden the guest list of your wedding to include everyone and cut back on other things to save money, or narrow your shower list down.  Perhaps you can think of an alternate way to celebrate with all the people that you care about.  A small house-warming party or second, casual reception after your actual wedding might be your best bet.  You can have something during the day that is low-key and low-cost! You can also choose to have an intimate ceremony with your immediate families only, and then have a larger reception afterward with everyone that you want to celebrate with.

One of the drawbacks to having an intimate wedding is that you ultimately do have to leave people out.  There is no in-between in these situations.  In the end, you either have to choose to have the intimate wedding you’ve dreamed of or have everyone you care about present.  Best of luck and congratulations on your wedding!