Dear Divas,

I have a small dilemma.  My fiance has 8 guys he wants to be in our wedding.  He is pretty set on this number and it would be bad to cut anyone out.  I, on the other hand, either have to have 5 people or go up to 9 – there is no in between as I would end up hurting some feelings if I left anyone out or only added one or two more girls.  As it stands right now, it’s looking like we’re going to have a really uneven bridal party, with 8 on his side and 5 or 9 on mine!  I know it’s silly, but this really bothers me.  Is it ok to have an uneven bridal party?  How will they walk down the aisle?

Concerned Bride

Dear Concerned Bride,

These days, it’s very common to step outside the lines of tradition (and symmetry!) and have a different number of people standing up on each side at the wedding.  There is no harm in it and no etiquette rules that argue against lopsided bridal parties.  It’s entirely up to the bride and groom to do what they want, as long as it doesn’t come at the cost of making someone feel uncomfortable in the processional, recessional, dances, etc.

There are a lot of ways to avoid making anyone feel out of place.  They are as follows:

Ceremony Processional/Recessional

• Either have everyone walk separately down the aisle, or have the men walk in pairs (2 men to every bridesmaid and then the best man and maid of honor together). You can also have the groom’s party already at the alter when the ceremony starts–this is very common.

Reception

• For introductions, introduce each person one by one instead of having them walk in pairs
• For the dances, you have a few options.  Have each member of the bridal party dance with their date or have them do some sort of group dance.  You can also fore go the dance all together and do a toast in honor of your bridal party instead!

Just remember:  Your bridal party is there to support you and be at your side through the planning process.   Adding or removing people for the sake of numbers is unnecessary.   These people are closest to you and you should make sure to have all of those special people at your side, no matter the numbers!

If you’re still feeling uncomfortable, check out this amazing tool from David’s Bridal.  You can virtually visualize your bridal party!  It’s like seeing the future!

Yesterday afternoon, my sister’s best friend from high school asked her to be her maid of honor. Already thrilled by the news of her upcoming April wedding, my sister readily accepted and is now gearing up for nine months of maid of honor mayhem.

As she pours over bachelorette party invitations and bridal shower blogs, I can’t help but think that she is the ideal maid of honor–reliable, charming in front of an audience, always willing to host a stylish soiree and still the most flawlessly fashionable person I’ve ever met. Her input will undoubtedly prove invaluable from the flower shop to the bridal boutique, and her wit and charisma make her the perfect bridesmaid leader.

For those of you still searching for a maid of honor, check out The Knot’s list of Maid of Honor Duties while you consider your options. The perfect MOH doesn’t have to be your flighty college roommate or your favorite cousin who lives out of town. Choose someone local who understands your personal style, knows how to handle a crisis and always brings out the best in you, as my sister does with nearly everyone she meets.