If you are anything like me, a lot changes when you get engaged.  You and your fiancee are no longer just “dating”–suddenly, you are en route to not only being your own family, but to joining both of your families together as one.  While it’s always great to expand your circle, it can also pose problems and force you to make decisions you’ve never even considered before.

One of the biggest issues comes up during the holidays.  Whether you are engaged or newly married, this is a tricky time for most couples, and can become even more problematic if you or your families live in different states. You are used to your family traditions, and your fiancee, his.  In addition, both sets of parents and siblings will most likely vie for your attention during the holidays.  To top it all off, you probably want to have a more personal holiday with your future husband or wife-to-be, but with all of the back-and-forth between families, you will find little time for that.

If you live out of state, a whole new set of problems emerges.  Which family do you stay with?  If your families live in different states, who do you visit for each holiday?  How do you achieve the privacy you’d like for Christmas if you are guests of one of your families?

There are the obvious solutions–alternating holidays between families, having an early Christmas of your own together, getting a hotel room instead of staying with one of your families, or staying at each parents’ house for half of your trip–but these don’t always work for every couple.

The bottom line is that you need to do what works for you.  Eventually, you will have kids of your own and will develop your own traditions.  Perhaps the best solution is one that we at Wedding Paper Divas can help you with–invite both sides of the family to YOUR house for a holiday celebration.  That way, you’re in control of the who, what, when and where, and everyone gets what they want!  To host your own holiday extravaganza, check out our Holiday Collection preview on parent-site Tiny Prints, like this Holiday martini Invitation:

So, you tell us:  What is the best solution for you and your honey?  How do you stay sane while balancing the demands of both families?