One of our staffers (let’s just call her Jane) recently shared a story with us that caused a lot of commotion around the Wedding Paper Divas office. A friend of hers was getting married and proceeded to share details of the day—going as far as to tell Jane where she would be seated at the reception. A few months pass and Jane starts to wonder why she hasn’t received a save the date yet. Chalking it up to budget restraints, she figures maybe the couple isn’t sending them out. Then a few more months pass and the wedding is getting closer and closer. Jane still has not received any formal word on the wedding. At the next girls’ night out, she asks a friend whether she has received an invite. Neither of them had. Not much later in the evening, the bride-to-be breaks the news that her and her fiancé had to cut the guest list down and neither Jane nor her friend made the cut.
Would you understand? (Planning a wedding is expensive, after all.) Or would you be mad that the bride-to-be ever shared any info in the first place? Would you want the bride to let you know or just play it off like nothing ever happened? Rant or rave. We want to hear your take!
Over the weekend, we asked you on our Facebook page what you had to cut in order to stay within your budget. One reader’s response posed an etiquette question that we’ve seen time and again…
Many people put children and plus one—exactly how do you politely indicate additional guests (plus one) aren’t included? There is no way we can cut children, but there are A LOT of plus ones that we could do away with. How do you go about doing that in a tasteful manner?
Thank you in advance!
Not to worry, Brandi. Our etiquette experts have a few solutions for you…
The most traditional, etiquette friendly way is to address only that person’s name on the inner envelope. When allowing people a “plus one” write “and guest” on the envelope. Since most people aren’t as familiar with that formality, you can limit it on the response card or include a small note. We’ve seen people add a note on their response cards along the lines of: “Unfortunately, due to space constraints in our venue, we are unable to accommodate additional guests.”
You can also tell each guest how many are invited, using these formats: “We have reserved ____ seats for you.” You could enter “1″ there for people who aren’t allowed to bring a date or you can use “___ of ___ will attend.” In the second blank, you write the total invited (1 for single, 4 for family with kids, etc.) The guest will fill in the first blank with their response of how many will be able to come.
We hope this helps!
Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to email@example.com and we’ll post an answer for you.