Tag Archives: guest list

March 27

Ask Etta: Who’s Invited to the Rehearsal Dinner?

While we dish about the hottest trends and latest designs (aka the fun parts of wedding planning!) we also know how stressful prepping for the big day can be. So, we would like to formally introduce you to Etta, our new etiquette expert. She’s ready and happy to delve into your every etiquette dilemma.

Mary Asks…

I’m getting ready to order invites for my rehearsal dinner… who exactly should be on the guest list?

Etta Says…

We get this question all the time. Must-haves include:

  • your wedding party and their significant others
  • parents of any youngsters playing a part in your ceremony, like your flower girl or ring bearer
  • you and your hubby’s close relatives
  • any special guests, like your officiant and their significant other

You’re not obligated to invite out-of-towners, but if your dinner space and budget allow, it’s nice to include them as well. Happy planning!

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February 21

Ask Etta: A Guest in the Military

While we dish about the hottest trends and latest designs (aka the fun parts of wedding planning!) we also know how stressful prepping for the big day can be. So, we would like to formally introduce you to Etta, our new etiquette expert. She’s ready and happy to delve into your every etiquette dilemma.

Jamie Asks…

A friend of mine’s husband is deployed overseas. Should I address my invitation only to her or to the couple?

Etta Says…

Definitely the couple—just as if he were home. It might even be nice to include a personal note (handwritten, of course!) expressing how you wish they could both be there for your special day. Even if you know he won’t be able to make it, they’ll certainly appreciate the thought.

Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.

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July 8

Having a Wedding Invitation Revoked: Rant or Rave

One of our staffers (let’s just call her Jane) recently shared a story with us that caused a lot of commotion around the Wedding Paper Divas office. A friend of hers was getting married and proceeded to share details of the day—going as far as to tell Jane where she would be seated at the reception. A few months pass and Jane starts to wonder why she hasn’t received a save the date yet. Chalking it up to budget restraints, she figures maybe the couple isn’t sending them out. Then a few more months pass and the wedding is getting closer and closer. Jane still has not received any formal word on the wedding. At the next girls’ night out, she asks a friend whether she has received an invite. Neither of them had. Not much later in the evening, the bride-to-be breaks the news that her and her fiancé had to cut the guest list down and neither Jane nor her friend made the cut.

Would you understand? (Planning a wedding is expensive, after all.)  Or would you be mad that the bride-to-be ever shared any info in the first place? Would you want the bride to let you know or just play it off like nothing ever happened? Rant or rave. We want to hear your take!

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May 23

Addressing the +1 Dilemma: Today’s Diva Dish

Over the weekend, we asked you on our Facebook page what you had to cut in order to stay within your budget. One reader’s response posed an etiquette question that we’ve seen time and again…

Many people put children and plus one—exactly how do you politely indicate additional guests (plus one) aren’t included? There is no way we can cut children, but there are A LOT of plus ones that we could do away with. How do you go about doing that in a tasteful manner?

Thank you in advance!

-Brandi


Not to worry, Brandi. Our etiquette experts have a few solutions for you…

The most traditional, etiquette friendly way is to address only that person’s name on the inner envelope. When allowing people a “plus one” write “and guest” on the envelope. Since most people aren’t as familiar with that formality, you can limit it on the response card or include a small note. We’ve seen people add a note on their response cards along the lines of: “Unfortunately, due to space constraints in our venue, we are unable to accommodate additional guests.”

You can also tell each guest how many are invited, using these formats: “We have reserved ____ seats for you.” You could enter “1″ there for people who aren’t allowed to bring a date or you can use “___ of ___ will attend.” In the second blank, you write the total invited (1 for single, 4 for family with kids, etc.) The guest will fill in the first blank with their response of how many will be able to come.

We hope this helps!

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and we’ll post an answer for you.

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May 13

Bachelorette Party Guest List: Rant or Rave

Every bride and groom has a different definition of a their ideal last fling before the ring, from formal luncheons to raucous weekends in Vegas. But how do you decide who gets an invite?

Should bachelor and bachelorette parties be exclusive to the wedding party, or open to other friends and family members? What if it’s a destination ocassion?

How many people are you planning to have at your bachelorette party? Who’s on your guest list? We want to know, so rant or rave!

bachelorette

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April 15

A Plus One You Can’t Stand? Rant or Rave

You love your friend. She’s been there for you through thick and thin ever since you can remember. Sadly, she just moved in with a guy you can’t stand.

He’s pushy, boring and he doesn’t treat her well enough for your tastes. Even if he isn’t any of those things, for some reason, you neither like him nor believe he’ll be around for the long haul, so you don’t really want him at your special event.

Do you accept the fact that he’s her live-in boyfriend and invite them both, or do you leave him off the invitation? Rant or rave!

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April 1

How Many Bridal Shower Guests is Too Many? Rant or Rave

With so many brides-to-be, bridesmaids and future grooms working in the Wedding Paper Divas headquarters, it’s no surprise that party planning is a regular occurrence around here. And, since spring is such a popular time for bridal showers, there’s been a lot of back and forth over wedding shower guest lists—specifically, how many is too many? Some argue that more than twenty is a crowd, while others say the more, the merrier.

Where do you weigh in?

What do you think is the appropriate amount of guests for a bridal shower? Do you think showers should be kept to close friends and family or opened up to bigger groups? What size bridal shower are your friends or family planning for you? Rant or rave!

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March 14

A Tricky Guest List: The Divas Dish

One of the hardest parts about wedding planning is culling through your guest list—especially when it comes to family. Take this question from a reader, for example:

Dear Divas,

I have a question regarding wedding invitation etiquette and hope you can help. Our situation is a little complicated by the fact that we really only want 30 guests at our wedding. My fiance is one of eight kids and he’s 50. This means that his siblings have grown kids, and those kids have kids. How can we handle this as we do not want to offend anyone, yet we are only inviting siblings and spouses? To complicate this a little further, one of his siblings has two grown kids that we are close to and would like to have there. Is there any hope for us?? Please help.

Signed,
Getting a Headache in Chicago

Dear Headache,

Our hearts go out to you! It’s not easy to host such an intimate wedding, but we applaud your efforts to stay true to the celebration you have in mind. Our advice for your situation is twofold:

1. It’s perfectly reasonable to limit the guest list to siblings and spouses, but by inviting two of the grown children and not the rest of the pack is pushing the limits of proper etiquette (not to mention increasing the likelihood that someone will be offended). We suggest limiting the guest list to siblings and spouses and excluding all children in accordance with proper invitation etiquette.

2. That being said, we think a big family like yours would probably love the chance to celebrate all together. Have you considered hosting an informal party after the wedding? Invite everyone over, ask them to bring a bottle of wine, lay out some snacks and let everyone raise a glass to your new union without the formality of the ceremony and reception (or the obligation to bring gifts!).

We hope this helps ease your headache a little! Your extended family will likely understand your desire to keep the ceremony small, but by offering a second celebration they can all attend you might make a little headway in repairing any hurt feelings.

What would you suggest Getting a Headache in Chicago do? Leave us a comment and let us know!

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and we’ll post an answer for you.

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July 26

The Top 10 Forgotten Invitees: Things to Know

We all know that you simply can’t invite everyone you know to your big day, but there are certain people who get left off the list more than others. Did you forget to (or decide not to) send invitations to these top 10 most forgotten wedding invitation recipients?

  1. Kids. When the budget gets tight, they are generally the first group left out of the mix.
  2. Exes. Even if you are still close, it can be hard to squeeze out another place setting for an ex on your wedding day.
  3. Great Aunts and Uncles. We blame poor health and/or travel concerns for this one.
  4. Second Cousins. In general, they don’t expect to be invited anyway!
  5. Childhood Friends. This can definitely lead to hurt feelings, but if you haven’t spoken in 15 years we don’t think your fifth grade promise to invite your BFFs should still stand.
  6. Neighbors. Again, this group doesn’t generally expect and invitation unless you are particularly close.
  7. Coworkers. It’s always nice to be invited, but certainly not a must!
  8. Non-Mutual Friends. The friends you share in common are likely the friends you spend the most time with, so anyone who doesn’t like to hang out with your future spouse might not make the cut.
  9. Friends’ Families. Sometimes parents of close friends are invited, but it’s definitely not expected by any means.
  10. Friends Who Argue with Your Fiance. If you’re trimming guests from your list, this is a natural. Who wants to invite drama on their wedding day?

Do you have any forgotten guests you’d add to the list? Leave a comment and tell us!

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June 25

Rant or Rave: Inviting Your Boss

You’ve nailed down both sides of family and friends. Now it’s time to decide who will make the cut from your respective places of employment. This will depend on a lot of factors—size of company, position in company, importance of office politics, etc. The last thing you want to be faced with after returning from your honeymoon is awkwardness at work—but do you really want the head honcho of your organization to witness you cut a rug after your fourth glass of champagne?

Will you have your boss at your wedding? Should brides and grooms feel obligated to invite their bosses to their big day?  Rant or rave about it!

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