According to this interesting article on Divine Caroline, holding on to grudges isn’t just bad for your big day. The stress of staying mad at someone has the same negative effects on your health as the stress you encounter at your job, leading to problems like high blood pressure, a suppressed immune system and hair loss.

If the thought of losing your hair or feeling ill throughout your wedding planning doesn’t make you want to clear the air, consider the fact that it only takes one angry relative to set off a fight that could threaten the serenity of your entire event.

Don’t start your happily ever after with a cloud hanging over the day. If you’re holding on to a grudge, try some of these tips from Divine Caroline to begin to let go. If the angry party is someone you are close to, forward them this article with your heartfelt hope that they can clear the air and help you celebrate in peace.

• Figure out what’s making you dwell on the issue in the first place. Talking it out with an impartial third party or writing it down can help you sort through and understand your emotions.
• In whatever form forgiveness comes, remember that it’s not the same as forgetting, which is something that might never happen. The memory can last, but if you’ve truly forgiven someone, its ties to residual anger should be severed.
• Becoming cognizant of a grudge’s ill effects on your life makes holding on to one seem all the more pointless.

Letting Go of Grudges

Although this is an extreme (albeit hilarious!) example of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it actually is not as far-fetched as it may seem.  This unique relationship has been chronicled for years, with self-help books and TV shows galore aimed at solving the age-long mystery of exactly why this female-to-female relationship can be so rocky.  I never believed the hype until I myself got married.  Somewhere between the new daughter-in-law taking first place in her husband’s life and the mother-in-law feeling like she’s losing a son, a lot of resentment and dare I say, even jealousy, develops.

The question is, how do you stop this from happening when you enter a new relationship?  How do you keep it from getting worse over the years?  I know there are plenty of people out there who are lucky enough to be as close to their in-laws as they are to their own parents.  I’d love to hear from anyone out there–what is your relationship with your mother-in-law like?  Is she a monster-in-law or a second mother to you?

Monster-in-law or Second Mother?

-Associated Content offers this helpful article on hosting your parents or in-laws for Thanksgiving dinner.  Among them, make sure to include recipes from both sides of the family in your dinner so that they both feel equally honored.

-eHow.com has some steps for coping with meddling in-laws.  Remember, as hard as it may be, it’s always better to be the bigger person.  Respond accordingly!

-Distract your fellow family members with gifts!  Reader’s Digest has a list of gift ideas for the in-laws on their blog.

-Yahoo has a list of survival tips for the holidays.  At least one of these is sure to work.  If not, check out author Dina Koutas Poch’s book”I Heart My In-Laws…” for even more guidance.

-Finally, a personal tip: before you head out or have people over, make sure you and your significant other are on the same page.  You have to be able to support one another.  Isn’t that what marriage is all about?

Link Love: Dealing with the In-Laws

1. Writing a thank you card actually begins when you start sending out your invitations. Make sure you keep everyone’s contact information in a spreadsheet. Google has a documents program that allows you to share files with others. This way you and your significant other can keep track of your information in the same place.

2. Either mail out all of your thank you cards at the same time or do it by family. If not, you’ll run into the same issues as me and have some people calling to find out what happened to their thank you card since they heard someone else already got theirs.

3. Clarify any questions early! As you receive each gift, look for a card or gift tag. If there are presents without any name attached to it or the card says from: The Smiths and you have two relatives with the same name, clarify things with the gift givers right away.

4. Order extra thank you cards. I’ve made so many mistakes on my thank yous and had to throw them away. Having 25 extra ones really made a difference especially since I didn’t account for cards to our vendors.

5. Do a little at a time. So that the task seems less daunting commit to doing say 5 or 10 cards a day. Then just push through the process. What I told my husband was that these people deserved a nice card for all of their efforts getting to our wedding and for their generous gifts. It was worth the bit of discomfort to get them a well worth the wait thank you card!

Tips to Making Writing Thank You Cards Pain Free