Tag Archives: dear divas

September 19

Where Can I Put My Registry Cards? Today’s Diva Dish

We’ve been getting a lot of registry questions lately, so we’re dedicating today’s Diva Dish to the tricky topic. Take this Facebook fan’s question for instance…

Where (if anywhere?) can I put my registry cards?

-Tori

Many different resources will suggest that including registry information with your wedding invitations is less than ideal. If possible, we suggest looking at other options for letting guests know where you are registered, merely to avoid having guests feel like more importance is placed on the gift-receiving rather than the event itself. Need a couple ideas? We recommend the following:

  • Set up a wedding website and include an enclosure card with the web address (or put it on the invitation if needed) with a registry page. This way, guests will automatically know to check out the site for gift ideas—and no registry information will be with the invite at all.
  • Have your maid of honor and best man spread the word. He or she (or both!) can include the information on shower invitations and share it by word of mouth to make sure the registries get circulated.

Still, for many couples, registry cards are the easiest option. And since there are more and more efforts being made to condense paper items down and be more environmentally friendly, many will argue that this is an appropriate way to share registry information. If you decide to include a registry card with your wedding invitations, make sure it is behind the invitation itself—and as understated as possible.

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and we’ll post an answer for you.

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August 22

Addressing Invitations: Today’s Diva Dish

Today’s Diva Dish came from a Facebook fan who’s getting ready to address her wedding invitations:

Hi Divas,

Ladies first, right? (names on the invites, that is).

-Angela


We’re glad you asked, Angela. For most of the addressing that we have seen, this is actually not the case! Here’s what we recommend…

For married couples, it is typical to have the husband’s name first:

Formal (with titles):  Mr. & Mrs. Patrick James

Casual:  Patrick & Alyssa James

For unmarried couples, it is usually suggested that the person whom the couple is closest to is first.

If couple is closest to the male, or if couple is equally close to both people, the male name is usually first:

Formal: Mr. Javier Ramirez & Ms. Melinda Torres

Casual: Javier Ramirez & Melinda Torres

If couple is closest to female:

Formal: Ms. Jamie McGuff & Mr. Tony Pederson

Casual: Jamie McGuff & Tony Pederson

If guest’s name is unknown, then known name is always first:

Formal: Ms. Lindsey Quill & Guest

Casual: Lindsey Quill & Guest

If couple is choosing to include children and/or family, typically they will add the following when addressing the invitations:

Mr. & Mrs. Patrick Jones and family

We hope this helps. Happy envelope addressing!

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and we’ll post an answer for you.

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August 8

When Should I Send My Save the Date? Today’s Diva Dish

You said “Yes!” You and your future-hubby have decided on a destination wedding. Wondering when you should send your save the date out? You’re not alone. Take this reader’s question, for instance…

Dear Divas,

I’m getting married August 2012 in Maui, Hawaii (I live in Canada) and I just ordered the save the date cards. Will probably send them in July/August. I wanna give people as much time as possible to save and plan for such a trip. Is this sufficient?

-Chelsea

Destination wedding timing can be tricky, so this is a great question. Here’s what our etiquette experts have to say…

Save the dates are often sent out anywhere from four months before the wedding to up to a year or more prior, depending on whether the event will be a destination wedding, if majority of people are coming from out of town, whether it’s on a holiday, etc. We suggest sending the save the dates out as soon as you gather all of the important information (hotel group rates, rental car info, travel agent contact info), even up to a year ahead of time.

We also suggest setting up a website with all of this important travel information and referencing the web address on your save the date cards. It’s always best to provide as much information to your guests on travel and as early as possible to make planning easier for all parties. However, if you’re having a smaller wedding with most of the guest living locally or close by, it is not as necessary to send out save the dates as far in advance. In this case, four to six months beforehand would be sufficient.

We hope this helps, Chelsea. Good luck planning your dreamy destination wedding!

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and we’ll post an answer for you.

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August 1

Multiple Parents, Multiple Worries: Today’s Diva Dish

If you have parents who have remarried and aren’t sure how to word your wedding programs, our etiquette expert’s may have the answers you’re seeking. Take this reader’s dilemma, for instance…

Hi Divas,

My parents divorced years ago and my dad has since remarried, but my mom has not remarried. I want to list “Parents of the Bride” on my wedding programs, but I’m not sure where (if at all?) to include my stepmother. What’s the best way to go about this without hurting anyone’s feelings?

—Marci

Thanks so much for writing in, Marci. Rest assured, you’re certainly not the first stressed out bride-to-be with this worry. Here’s what our etiquette experts suggest:

The easiest way to avoid any hard feelings is to include everyone. Like so…

Parents of the Bride

Mrs. Biological Mother

Mr. & Mrs. Biological Father (which includes your stepmom)

This way, no one will get left out—allowing everyone to focus on being a part of your special day.

Do you agree with our advice for Marci? What would you recommend? Leave us a comment and let us know!

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and we’ll post an answer for you.

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July 21

Are Bridal Shower Favors a Must-Have? Today’s Diva Dish

Planning your best friend’s bridal shower? We know how costs can add up. Take this reader, for instance, who wrote us in a party planning pickle…

I’m the MOH for my best friend’s wedding. The other bridesmaids and I are currently planning her bridal shower and we’re all chipping in for the invitations, food and decorations… but I’m not sure we’ll have budget leftover for party favors. Are they a must-have?

Help an MOH out!

Don’t worry, MOH… we’ve received this question countless times! Like most parts of traditional wedding planning, shower favors aren’t required—but it’s definitely a nice gesture to have something for guests to take home. It’s not so much whether or not favors are a must, but more a matter of how to find something inexpensive that doesn’t lack quality or style.

Have you had a chance to browse our Beau-coup favor boutique? There are loads of practical wedding favors, offering you an easy (and chic!) way to delight shower guests without breaking the bank. Here are a few of our favorites…

Cherry Blossom Glass Coasters—as low as 95¢ each

Swish Handle Cup and Saucer Sets—as low as $2.50 each

Stainless Steel Spreader with Wine Cork Handle—as low as $1.95 each

Damask Glass Tea Light Holders—as low as $1.60 each

Personalized Love Story Notes—as low as $1.30 each

Even if these favors don’t fit into your shower budget, you can still set up a candy or cookie bar and order these personalized goodie bags for only 60¢ each. That way everyone will go home with a sweet treat… and you’ll still stay well within your price limit.

Good luck with the rest of your shower planning!

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and we’ll post an answer for you!

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June 27

Notes on Wedding Attire: Today’s Diva Dish

If your wedding celebration is taking place in a non-traditional venue like a barn, winery or beach, it might be best to inform guests how to dress for the elements. What’s the best way to do so? Take this Wedding Paper Divas fan’s question, for instance…

We want to include a note about attire in our enclosure cards, but aren’t sure how to describe the feel. we’re getting married at a venue that has a grassy area for the ceremony and a barn with a cement floor for the reception/dancing. any suggestions? i don’t want to call it garden attire and we don’t want people showing up in jeans either. Thanks in advance! —Melissa B.


This is a great question, especially with outdoor wedding season upon us. We recommend using casual attire, but emphasizing the no jeans request. Describing the setting will also help guests get dressed appropriately. Something like: “Ceremony will be in a grassy area and reception will follow in the barn. Please dress smart casual with comfortable shoes. Please no jeans.” For more attire tips and tricks, check out this great cheat sheet from The Knot.

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and we’ll post an answer for you.

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May 23

Addressing the +1 Dilemma: Today’s Diva Dish

Over the weekend, we asked you on our Facebook page what you had to cut in order to stay within your budget. One reader’s response posed an etiquette question that we’ve seen time and again…

Many people put children and plus one—exactly how do you politely indicate additional guests (plus one) aren’t included? There is no way we can cut children, but there are A LOT of plus ones that we could do away with. How do you go about doing that in a tasteful manner?

Thank you in advance!

-Brandi


Not to worry, Brandi. Our etiquette experts have a few solutions for you…

The most traditional, etiquette friendly way is to address only that person’s name on the inner envelope. When allowing people a “plus one” write “and guest” on the envelope. Since most people aren’t as familiar with that formality, you can limit it on the response card or include a small note. We’ve seen people add a note on their response cards along the lines of: “Unfortunately, due to space constraints in our venue, we are unable to accommodate additional guests.”

You can also tell each guest how many are invited, using these formats: “We have reserved ____ seats for you.” You could enter “1″ there for people who aren’t allowed to bring a date or you can use “___ of ___ will attend.” In the second blank, you write the total invited (1 for single, 4 for family with kids, etc.) The guest will fill in the first blank with their response of how many will be able to come.

We hope this helps!

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com and we’ll post an answer for you.

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February 17

Dear Divas: How to (Tactfully) Request an Adults-Only Wedding

Dear Divas,

I live in California, but was invited to an old friend’s wedding on the East Coast, so I scheduled time off work, purchased plane tickets for my family and booked a hotel—all BEFORE the bride told me it’s an adults only wedding. Now I either have to try to find a sitter for my two year-old daughter in a completely unknown state or my husband is going to stay in and watch her while I attend the wedding solo.

I feel like all of this could have been avoided with better communication. What’s the best way to let guests know your wedding is for adults only?

Thanks,

Frustrated in Fremont



Dear Frustrated,

We’re so sorry to hear about your dilemma, but we are glad you are voicing your concerns. By not letting guests know about an adults-only policy early, engaged couples can seriously upset their guests or even force them to change their RSVP if they are traveling from out of state, like you are.

If you are getting married and you’d like your guests to keep their little ones at home, it is considered inappropriate to write “No Children” on your invitations. Here’s what we recommend instead:

  1. Write only the names of the parents on both your inner and outer envelopes.
  2. If parents call to inquire about whether or not they can bring children, be gentle but make your intentions clear. We suggest something like, “We will be unable to accommodate Jenny and James. They would be frightfully bored, and I would hate for you to have to leave early to take them home.”
  3. Hire a babysitter or two for the evening. Do your research and make sure you find someone reliable and with good qualifications. That way out-of-town guests and locals alike will be able to find accommodations for their little ones!

If you are still having trouble finding a sitter for your toddler, ask the bride for help. She should be able to reach out to friends and coworkers to find a good sitter in the area who can give you and your husband the chance to enjoy the wedding without worrying about your little one’s safety.

If you have a question for our staff of experts, send it to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com. We’ll post it on our site and give you some of our very best advice!

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