If you’re looking for the perfect way to put the stamp of your new initials on your wedding, check out some of these ideas below:

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My fiance comes from a devout Catholic family.  I, on the other hand, was not raised practicing any religion and actually feel quite uncomfortable in a church setting. However, my fiance’s parents are very insistent that we marry in their church.  We have had various heated discussions with them and it is putting a cloud over our wedding day, which is supposed to be happy time!  I am strongly opposed to the church marriage, however,  I sense that my fiance cares more than he lets on.  His parents are not contributing any money to our wedding.  Do I have to cave in and listen to them to keep the peace, or risk upsetting them and insisting we have our wedding elsewhere?

Sincerely,

Bad Religion Bride

Dear Bad Religion Bride,

My first instinct is to say that this is your wedding and you should be able to have your ceremony wherever you please.  However, after giving it further thought, I’m starting to think it might be best to give in to your fiance’s parents.  It sounds like he is uncomfortable with the entire situation, and even more, like he might actually prefer the church.

Marriage is all about compromise.  When people from two different religions (or in your case, one more religious and one not at all) marry, it is common to have disagreements and inconsistencies in things like the ceremony, vows and even how you will raise your family in the future.  If you truly feel that your fiance might actually prefer not only the church, but also not upsetting his parents, I’d advise that you go with it.  Even if you’re not religious, many churches can be a beautiful setting for a wedding.  Furthermore, if this small compromise does not truly cause you any problems or take away from your wedding, it might be worth it to keep conflict at bay.

Another option would be to have a large ceremony at the venue of your choice, and then a second, smaller ceremony in a church.  If your fiance’s parents truly feel that strongly about you being married in a church, maybe they would be willing to pitch in for a small church ceremony after your “real” wedding day.  It could consist of only the two of you and your families, and it would give both your fiance and his parents the peace of mind that they are looking for.

This is a tough situation and I hope it works out for the best.  Make sure you hash out any discussions regarding religion with your fiance now.  If you wait until your married or have children, it can cause problems.  If you’re both on the same page and understand where each other is coming from, you’ll have a very strong marriage!  Good luck.

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Table Settings

Beautifully decorated tablescapes are only enhanced when you include well-placed lights in your decor. Check out these great ideas for table settings from Lemiga events:

Outdoor Lights

Outdoor lights are a natural part of any outdoor reception, but even if you host your event inside, consider decorating the patio, walkway or nearby trees with white lights for a special effect, as seen in this photo from Eventiva.

Regal Reception Ideas

There are hundreds of way to incorporate unique lighting into your wedding reception. One of the best ways to choose a lighting scheme is to select a design plan that mirrors the theme of your wedding. Are you and your future spouse all about glitz and glamour? Consider a big, sweeping tent of white lights placed over the dance floor.

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Looking for something with a little more bohemian fun and unique flair?  Opt for bold strands of brightly colored lights.

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Or you can use your lights to poke fun at yourself, as in this photo from Etsy, where a couple used empty shotgun shells to light up their humorously titled “shotgun wedding.”

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The Beach – If you are looking for a casual, but elegant affair consider holding your event by the seaside.  One of our favorite beach-side hotels is the Hotel del Coronado in San Diego (below).

A loft - If you are a city girl planning an event that is both elegant and chic consider renting an empty metropolitan loft that offers you a blank canvas to personalize with your own style.

A Vineyard - If you are thinking of planning a country-side or garden wedding, don’t rule out the idea of a vineyard.  Vineyards offer a special charm that will make your event feel extra romantic.

A Castle – Do you feel like you are marrying Prince Charming? Then fulfill your fairy tale fantasies and get married in a castle.  When I was planning my wedding, I dreamed of getting married on the grounds of Oheka Castle in New York state (below).

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For the ceremony combine modern elegance and formal style to get simply gorgeous. (Photos from left: Amsale ball gown, the Knot, St. Pucchi Silk Charmeuse dress from Elegant Bride and Reverie by Melissa Sweet from the Knot.)

Perfect party dresses: from left (White kava blouson dress by Kate Spade and Romona Keveza dress both from Modern Bride. BCBG Maxazaria Strapless Applique dress from Nordstrom.)

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The bride advises that all engaged couples hire a wedding planner to minimize stress and maximize good memories. She says, “Even if it’s just for day-of planning, knowing that someone is taking care of everything allows you to have a fun time. You’re there with the person you love most in the world, and you are surrounded by all your friends and family. How could you not have a good time?”

Patti & Danny

June 28, 2008

To submit a wedding for the Real Weddings feature, send photos and an event description to blog@weddingpaperdivas.com.

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