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You can find all of the complete directions at Once Wed!

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Sometimes people’s feelings get hurt, and sometimes you end up with massive (or tiny!) bridal parties, but the question remains: is it better to deal with the drama of selecting your bridal party, or should you just not have one at all?

Would you forgo all of the help your bridesmaids and groomsmen offer in order to eliminate the stress of selecting them?

Does the idea of not having a bridal party make you want to rant or rave?

Photo from Manus Chau Photography

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I am having a destination wedding on a beach in the tropics, and I’m trying to find some bridesmaid dresses that will make all 6 of my girls happy.  We’ve been looking for months and I’m starting to get frustrated.  I want them all to be happy with the dresses, so I’ve let them send out options on their own.  We’ve been looking at “real” bridesmaid dresses, but I prefer to get dresses from a department store so that they can be worn again.  The problem is, no one ever agrees on anything!  Three girls will love the dress, 2 will be ok with it, and one will hate it.  I don’t want to force them to wear something that any of them will hate, so until now I’ve avoided making a final decision.  However, we’re getting down to the wire and we need to find something soon.  I could just pick a dress but I fear that they’ll be upset since I made it clear that they had free reign over dress selection.  How do I keep everyone happy and still get the dresses bought?

Dress Disaster

Dear Dress Disaster,

First of all, it’s very sweet of you to try so hard to find a dress that will perfectly fit each of your bridesmaid’s likes and dislikes.  However, as you’ve seen, it’s nearly impossible to find one dress that will match 6–actually, 7 (you have to like it too!)–individual tastes.  Women come in all different shapes and sizes and style preferences are even more varied.

At this point in the game, you just need a decision made.  It’s ok to bring some kind of order to the madness that is the dress selection.  Instead of letting your bridesmaids have free reign to throw dress suggestions out at their whim, why not select a list of 10 dresses that you love.  Email all of your ‘maids and ask them to vote on their top three.  At the end of the day, you’ll have a dress that not only you are sure to like, but that the majority of your maids will like too.  You can even ask them to list their three least favorite dresses–maybe it will help you to avoid selecting one that any of them will “hate”.

Another option is to go with a “real” bridesmaid dress (although I know you were trying to avoid that).  The upside is that you can have the dresses all made in the same fabric but in different styles.  That way, each girl will be wearing something that flatters her own body shape.
Finally, be sure to check out J. Crew’s bridesmaid line.  These chic dresses are perfect for weddings but can easily double as an any-occassion dress.  Good luck!

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But brides don’t have to be completely out of control in order to torture their friends—simple budget demands will do the trick. In this all-too-common story from Smart Spending, a bridesmaid laments over being asked to pay $275 for a dress she hates, on top of chipping in for a bachelorette party and four separate showers!

Do you think that’s fair? How much do you expect the bridesmaids at your wedding to spend? Have you ever had to deal with insane bridesmaid costs? How did you handle it? Do pricey bridesmaid expenses make you want to rant or rave?

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Not to fret! Most major bridesmaid designers offer maternity lines that will not only fit your pregnant friend, but it will also be very stylish.  Below are just a few examples of dresses that caught our eye:

From L to R – Bari Jay: Style 351; Bari Jay: Style760; Isabella Oliver: The Wrap Column Dress; Alfred Sung: Style M423; Tiffany Roses: The Sofia Gown

Related Post- Diva Dish: Pregnant Bridesmaid

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For the Crafter

Scissor Necklace from Makool Loves You

For the Artist

LittleMoandFriends Journal found on Etsy

For the Brainiac

Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell, found on Amazon.com

For the Fashionista

Posh Print Thank You Cards from Wedding Paper Divas

For the Techie

Belkin TuneTalk Stereo Voice Recorder for iPods found on Hello My Name is Heather by Heather Bailey

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One of my favorite collections on Etsy is the massive jewelry category. You can find just about anything you are looking for, all handmade and full of charm, and usually for a great price. If you are looking for bridesmaids’ gifts, for instance, you could shop any of these vendors to find the perfect jewels, charms and baubles to suit each bridesmaid’s style (and at a price that will suit your budget!).

For the Simply Stylish Bridesmaid:

For the Romantic Bridesmaid:

For the Fun and Funky Bridesmaid:

For the Bohemian Bridesmaid:

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I have a small dilemma.  My fiance has 8 guys he wants to be in our wedding.  He is pretty set on this number and it would be bad to cut anyone out.  I, on the other hand, either have to have 5 people or go up to 9 – there is no in between as I would end up hurting some feelings if I left anyone out or only added one or two more girls.  As it stands right now, it’s looking like we’re going to have a really uneven bridal party, with 8 on his side and 5 or 9 on mine!  I know it’s silly, but this really bothers me.  Is it ok to have an uneven bridal party?  How will they walk down the aisle?

Concerned Bride

Dear Concerned Bride,

These days, it’s very common to step outside the lines of tradition (and symmetry!) and have a different number of people standing up on each side at the wedding.  There is no harm in it and no etiquette rules that argue against lopsided bridal parties.  It’s entirely up to the bride and groom to do what they want, as long as it doesn’t come at the cost of making someone feel uncomfortable in the processional, recessional, dances, etc.

There are a lot of ways to avoid making anyone feel out of place.  They are as follows:

Ceremony Processional/Recessional

• Either have everyone walk separately down the aisle, or have the men walk in pairs (2 men to every bridesmaid and then the best man and maid of honor together). You can also have the groom’s party already at the alter when the ceremony starts–this is very common.

Reception

• For introductions, introduce each person one by one instead of having them walk in pairs
• For the dances, you have a few options.  Have each member of the bridal party dance with their date or have them do some sort of group dance.  You can also fore go the dance all together and do a toast in honor of your bridal party instead!

Just remember:  Your bridal party is there to support you and be at your side through the planning process.   Adding or removing people for the sake of numbers is unnecessary.   These people are closest to you and you should make sure to have all of those special people at your side, no matter the numbers!

If you’re still feeling uncomfortable, check out this amazing tool from David’s Bridal.  You can virtually visualize your bridal party!  It’s like seeing the future!

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