Tag Archives: addressing envelopes

January 29

Addressing Wedding Invitations with No Plus-Ones: Ask Etta

Brittany Asks…

To cut costs, I would like to have only the people listed on my wedding invitations attend my wedding. Is there a way to suggest that plus-ones are prohibited without seeming tacky?

Also, what is the most polite way to say “no children” or “adults only” and where do we state this?

purple bridal party

Etta Says…

Wedding etiquette regarding plus ones has changed in recent years and there are a few things to consider when preparing your guest list.

The most traditional way to tackle your question is to address only that person’s name on the inner envelope. When allowing people a “plus one” write “and guest” on the envelope. Since most people aren’t as familiar with that formality, you can limit it on the response card or include a small note—where you can ask your guest to list the name of their guest so you can properly address them on the seating chart and place cards.

If you do not wish to invite kiddos to your wedding, simply exclude their name from the invitation. You should never write “no children” or “adults only” on the invite, but if you want to be completely clear you can include “Adult Affair” on the RSVP card. You can also tell each guest how many are invited, using this format: “We have reserved ____ seats for you.” You could enter “1″ there for people who aren’t allowed to bring a date or you can use “___ of ___ will attend” if they’re allowed a guest.

Additional things to consider when inviting guests:

Proper etiquette states that you should invite guests who are living together—not only the married ones.

Also, you should always invite both members of a couple if they are married. Not knowing someone’s partner is no excuse for excluding them from the invitation.

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Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at etta@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.

 

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January 15

Addressing Wedding Invitations for Widows: Ask Etta

Judy Asks…

What is the appropriate way to address an invitation to a widow?  Do you use the husband’s name?  One of my guests has been widowed several years and is now dating—the other is VERY recently widowed.

envelope

 Etta Says…

Thanks for writing in, as we know this can be a difficult topic to address. The most important thing to take into consideration is that this really comes down to your relationship with the widow. It is a difficult topic and you might feel worried about either offending or saddening the recipient, which is understandable.

Here’s what we recommend…

Addressing the Outer Envelope:

Proper etiquette holds that on formal correspondence, like wedding invitations, widows must be addressed with their deceased husband’s full name—regardless of the amount of time that has elapsed from his death. The name on the outer envelope should read, “Mrs. John Smith.” However, these days, many feel that addressing this way is dated. If you agree and feel more comfortable addressing it only to her, it’s appropriate etiquette to address the outer envelope with just the widow’s first name, “Mrs. Becky Smith.”

 Addressing the Inner Envelope:

When addressing the inner envelope, etiquette says to leave off first names. Therefore, it should read “Mrs. Smith.” If you are allowing her a guest to the ceremony and/or reception, you can address it as “Mrs. Smith and Guest.”

To recap, when addressing invites to a widow, take your relationship with her and the length of time she has been a widow into account. If you’re close with her and she’s recently widowed, it may be appropriate for you to use her husband’s name. If a lot of time has passed and she’s now dating again, it probably makes more sense to address it to her single name.

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Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at etta@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.

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