A good friend of mine just returned from Las Vegas, where he and his buddies had an entire week of bachelor mayhem. I tried to get him to spill all of his secrets, but all I really managed to find out was that the boys partook in a lot of drinking, a lot of breakfast buffets and one night of the thing that strikes fear into the hearts of many brides-to-be—a strip club.
Have you and your fiancé discussed what you are comfortable with during your bachelor and bachelorette parties? At what point does a bachelor party cross the line into inappropriateness? Rant or rave about it!
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January 16th, 2009 at 9:21 am
I don’t really mind if he and the boys have a wild night. I think all that really matters is that you trust one another!
January 16th, 2009 at 9:24 am
I think it’s really important to talk about it in advance. If something would seriously upset you, let him know so that he can set your mind at ease.
January 16th, 2009 at 9:25 am
The things you list here are all totally normal bachelor party activities and I think girls need to calm down and let their men be! As long as you trust each other, you know your honey won’t do anything wrong.
January 16th, 2009 at 9:51 am
what’s right for one couple may not be right for the other. i agree with jessie that you should discuss it before hand. set expectations for both the bachelor party and the bachelorette party!
January 16th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Ya know, this one strikes a nerve with me because I’ve seen bachelor parties go horribly wrong with people who did feel they could trust each other. Alchohol can impair the judgement of a trustworthy man. I definitely agree with the idea that it should be talked about for both sides. I don’t understand the mentality of “It’s his last night as a single guy so lets go get crazy!” Ummm, if I’m not mistaken his last day as a single guy was the day before you started dating…am I wrong? Therefore I don’t think the whole stripper thing or anything sexual involving another woman is appropriate. Sure go have fun with your buds and drink till you can’t stand up but keep in mind that your not even close to being single so act accordingly.
January 16th, 2009 at 11:38 am
I agree with Mandi. Its one thing to have a big night and a totally different thing to include the seductive qualities of another woman. If you’re okay with it, thats your prerogative, but I would not be. Things like this don’t just snap from being okay to not okay from one day to the next. If I plan on marrying someone, I wouldn’t do that to them and would expect the same level of respect in return.
January 16th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I agree with Jessie–the key to a smooth after party is making sure the expectations and boundaries are drawn long before the party. As long as both know what is and isn’t in bounds, there shouldn’t be any surprises and no hurt feelings the next day.
January 16th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
I guess my thing is–if you are really that nervous about your fiance hooking up with strippers or doing wrong–should you really be getting married? If you have that little faith in his ability to choose between right and wrong…that doesn’t say much. It also doesn’t say much about the character of the man you are marrying!
January 16th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
I agree with Angie. As long as he doesn’t do anything with the strippers, who cares? I’d hope that I trust the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with enough for him to do the right thing when he goes out with his friends.
January 16th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I don’t know how fair it is to question whether two people should be getting married because one isn’t a fan of the strip club/stripper idea. Everyone has different relationships, morals and thoughts as we can see
With me it has nothing to do with my faith in him or trust. It’s simply not an appropriate thing for a man to be doing right before getting married, in my opinion. I’m lucky that he shares the same opinion, unless it’s me stripping, lol. Their are plenty of other fun dude things he could do with his friends that are memorable and more healthy for the relationship (ie. a weekend of dirt-bike riding, snowboarding or camping).
January 21st, 2009 at 5:54 am
I think that it depends on the location. A genuine strip club is fine – home delivery strippers or trips to Eastern Europe where the lines between dancer and hooker are blurred are unacceptable.
Of course, we’d all be crazy to marry someone we didn’t trust, but having read a magazine article where the journalist actually saw a stripper/hooker *mount* a groom who was passed-out from drinking just shows that bad things can still happen to nice guys…