January 13

Rant or Rave: Un-Asking a Bridesmaid

For one reason or another, sometimes the occasion arises when a bride-to-be has to ask a bridesmaid not to be a part of the wedding. Whether it’s because of a falling out, financial reasons or something much more complicated—this is a topic with heated opinions.

Here is a what a few of our Facebook fans had to say:

“Yeah, if you’re also uninviting her to the wedding. I feel like the only thing that could justify such a move would also justify a breach in the friendship.” -Brenda

“I would say it would depend on the situation. I didn’t have to un-ask anyone but our wedding is a little less than 4 months away & one of my bridesmaids dropped out. Sad part is, I thought she was my best friend. Weddings let everyone’s true colors shine!!” -Amanda

“Ha… Yes, it sure is!!! this is one of the most special days of my life & your bridesmaids are supposed to be your closest friends/family. If they don’t bother to care about it, then they don’t deserve to share the day with you!” – Nicole

“i dont think its respectful to un ask them…unless they cant afford it.” -Becky

“Kinda I wish I could start over and make more dependable friends and have them be my maids:(” -Amber

Would you ever un-ask a bridesmaid? Did you have to do it? Do you wish you would’ve? Rant or rave!


6 thoughts on “Rant or Rave: Un-Asking a Bridesmaid

  1. Trends to Traditions

    I think there is nothing wrong with it so long as it is not meant to be hurtful and is done over coffee or lunch. Some ladies just don’t love weddings, and you need bridesmaids who will fight FOR you down to every details!

  2. Starr

    I’ve already had to do this and my wedding is 6 mths away. She just didn’t seem interested and was very unresponsive about bridesmaid things. We’re still cool…so no love lost.

  3. Leigh

    I do not think it is proper etiquette to “unask” a bridesmaid once you’ve asked her – the same goes for telling someone they are invited/ sending a save the date then uninviting them to the wedding. Err on the side of caution and wait to ask before letting an invite out of the bag – you can’t in good taste take it back.

    I felt obligated to ask a childhood friend so I did, and she ordered her dress and seemed excited when I asked her, but I haven’t heard from her in months. My advice would be not to ask someone because you used to be best friends – if you aren’t close anymore and she’s not supportive now, invite her to the wedding by all means, but surround yourself with bridesmaids who are thrilled to be involved in your big day and actually stay in touch with you – wish I had!

  4. Elocin

    Maybe each Bride myself included needs to keep in mind that it is in fact NOT all about you. Maybe if you have friends dropping out of your wedding you should look at yourself and the amount of demands you are putting on your closest friends. Parties, dresses, gifts are each very expensive for only one day. After all the money spent was it worth it? Your husband would probably been very happy to have married you in the courthouse or small chapel ceremony.

  5. Wedding Etiquette

    Yep – that’s why I always advise that brides wait as long as possible before inviting their bridesmaids. Plus, you need to wait until you know how many guests you’ll be inviting and the level of formality since both of those items will determine how many bridesmaids you’ll need or should have.

  6. kelly

    What is the ratio suppose to be? the should have to number of guests..
    and if you have some what told a girl you wanted her in..but your wedding is more then a year away.. is it possibly to politely say, you changed your mind?


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