This summer, one of my dear friends was dragged to an engagement party, a bridal shower, a bachelorette weekend (not just one night!), another bridal shower and, of course, the wedding. She was asked to bring gifts to every event, and to help pay for the parties more often than not.
The real kicker is, she wasn’t in the bridal party. She was the only non-bridal party guest who was expected to be at every event because she’s know the bride since they were kids.
What wedding events should be mandatory for non-bridal party members? Who should be expected to pay for extra events? What’s the proper protocol for close friends who aren’t bridesmaids or groomsmen? Rant or rave about it!
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September 4th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I think only the wedding itself should be mandatory, since she is not in the bridal party She shouldn’t feel obligated to pay for the parties. That should be the job of the host or hostess.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
that’s beyond rude in my opinion. it seems the bride values her money rather than her friendship. I wonder if the bride/whoever was hosting these things took into consideration how much money all of this stuff is.
Another thing is the friend should have stood up for herself and told the bride her concerns about paying all this money.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Wow, it’s one thing if you have accepted an invitation to be in a bridal party — you should pretty much know what you’re signing up for ahead of time. But a non-bridal party member should be exempt from extra parties if she doesn’t want to go — and if she does go, a gift should never be expected. (Should never be expected anyway no matter what!)
September 4th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I don’t think that any wedding events should be mandatory, or ANYONE, even the bridal party! Any bride who forces people to do that isn’t a very good friend. People should try to be there, yes, but people also have other things happening in their lives, and it’s not always possible. Only bridal party members should pay for the events, and a gift is only necessary at the wedding, engagement party (if it’s a reasonable time before hand) and one of the parties.
September 5th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
The responsibility of bridal events (showers, dinners) should be split between the bridal party. The events should be created built upon a budget decided beforehand by the bridal party.
For the bachelorette party, I don’t think its a big deal if everyone shares in the cost of hosting the party – especially if everyone is partaking in dinner, spa or hotel rooms.
Nothing is mandatory, not even the wedding. If something is out of someone’s budget or taking too much time away from their schedule, it is perfectly okay to politely decline to attend and send a gift directly to the couple.
September 7th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
A non-bridal party friend should never be expected to attend any parties at all, unless she has specifically chosen to hostess one. Additionally, gifts are not to be expected at engagement parties at all. They’re not showers. It’s very poor taste for a bride to place such high demands on anyone – especially someone she hasn’t given the honor of being in the bridal party.