They go by many names—Bridesman, Mansmaid, Honor Attendant, Man of Honor—but no matter what you call them, male attendants to the bride tend to be a tricky subject.
Movies like Maid of Honor highlight some of the awkwardness that can arise from a Mansmaid situation. I have some very dear male friends that it would feel wrong not to include in the ceremony, but there’s a lot to think about.
Would you expect your bridesman to attend the bachelorette party and bridal shower? Where would he stand in the line up? How would you coordinate his attire with your bridesmaids?
With so many concerns to address, would you have a male bridesmaid at your wedding? Rant or rave about it!
Tags: bridesman, male bridesmaids, mansmaid, Rant or Rave
RAVE!!! As a girl who always had close male friends and never really got along with girls, I think this is a wonderful trend!
Sadly, I regret not having my closest male friend in my wedding. We’ve been through a lot together and he was a staple in my life when I met my now husband and up until the time of our wedding. I caved under the pressure of family and friends and was worried that he may be uncomfortable.
But in retrospect, I should have done my thing and had my friend stand with me on my big day.
So for any brides, debating the subject of having male friends in your party, I say GO FOR IT and who cares what anybody else thinks. It’s your big day.
I don’t have any very close male friends, but I told my fiance that if he didn’t select my brother as a groomsman, then he would be standing up on my side as a Bridesman!
I would have had him stand next to my maid of honor, wearing the same tux as the groomsmen, but with a different color tie and/or vest, to match the bridesmaid dresses.
I wouldn’t ask him to attend the bachelorette party or showers, I would just ask that he be there to support me throughout the wedding planning and wedding day, just like the other bridesmaids!
I don’t think brides and grooms should feel limited in picking their attendants by whether or not they are the same sex. I also think they shouldn’t be limited by trying to choose the exact same number for both sides. I have more best friends than my fiance. I’m not going to ask him to pick people he doesn’t feel that close with and he’s not going to ask me to cut out someone I feel very strongly about having by my side on our wedding day just for sake of symmetry! I have 5 bridesmaids, he has 4 groomsmen, and I think it’s going to work out great! You should be surrounded by your favorite people on your wedding day – male or female!
The terms “groomsmen” and “maids of honor” should be thrown away. The people standing beside the bride and groom should be whoever they feel should be there, regardless of sex. These folks are the best friends, the family, the people who have been with you and who you want as witnesses for your celebration.
In my own wedding party, I had my one of my best friends Brooke stand next to me, along with my brothers. It was the best way to share that day.
I was absolutely desperate to have nothing but men standing on my side- I’m much closer to them than I am with my female friends even though I love them both dearly. However, my FH is the highly traditional type who thought it was total blasphemy to even consider doing such a thing- we ended up compromising. I have my female friends as bridesmaids, but I don’t have a maid of honor- instead, I have an “honorary bridesman” who won’t be walking down the aisle or play any role in planning anything but he will be making the speech traditionally made by the maid of honor. He’ll attend the bachelor party, he has no part in the shower, & I’m letting him pick his own attire so long as it’s navy blue since both sides of the bridal party are wearing navy blue, but the boys will all have the same suit & I let my girls choose their own dresses.
I have to say Rave! I think a gir; needs to have those she is closest to by her side. I have photographed some of the sweetest weddings with male brides maides and female groomsmen.