In general, when you send out wedding invitations, you have a pretty good idea of who will be RSVPing “Yes” and who will be sending their regrets. Sometimes, however, those reception cards can be a bit of a shocker.
We’ve heard stories about close friends declining invitations with little to no excuse, leaving the engaged couple confused to say the least. This type of scenario has us wondering—if a declined invitation hurts your feelings or leaves you baffled, is it appropriate to speak up? Can you ask why a guest isn’t attending your celebration?
What’s the best way to handle such a tricky situation? Have you ever declined a wedding invitation from a close friend? Do confrontations over declined invitations make you want to rant or rave?
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September 21st, 2009 at 7:44 am
I have found that there is almost always a good reason for a friend/neighbor/family member that says no to a wedding invitation when you absolutely expect them to be there.
My fiancee and I found that the next time you talk to the people that responded no, the wedding and their excuse will almost always come up. We had neighbor family that just gave us a flat out “No” with no explanation and later found out that their child was in a large sports tournament the weekend of the wedding.
I had to remind myself that my wedding is not that ONLY event that is happening that day and that other’s peoples lives do continue whether you like it or not.
Chances are, the party in question will eventually give you an explanation and its usually a very reasonable scheduling conflict or other hardship for not being able to come. Explain to the people that you are sorry they won’t be able to make it, and move on… you have more planning to do!
September 21st, 2009 at 11:48 am
I believe there is always a good reason for when people decline to a big celebration like that. And if not, would you even want them at your wedding anyway? Never thought about having declines on the invite though…I just figured if you didn’t get one back that was your decline…..at least you know for sure!
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:45 am
For my wedding, we invited more guests just in case not everyone could attend. It turned out we had all guests attend!
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:17 pm
I think Leah makes some very good points. Most likely, a declined invitation doesn’t mean that something “better” came up, it just means the person cannot make the specific date.
The only way I would confront a close friend or family member about their decline is if they had previously told me that they would be coming. That would indicate to me that something changed their minds, and there may possibly be a conflict of some sort.
I wouldn’t have hurt feelings if someone couldn’t make it. Like Leah said, your wedding isn’t the only thing happening in everyone’s lives that day!