July 8

Having a Wedding Invitation Revoked: Rant or Rave

One of our staffers (let’s just call her Jane) recently shared a story with us that caused a lot of commotion around the Wedding Paper Divas office. A friend of hers was getting married and proceeded to share details of the day—going as far as to tell Jane where she would be seated at the reception. A few months pass and Jane starts to wonder why she hasn’t received a save the date yet. Chalking it up to budget restraints, she figures maybe the couple isn’t sending them out. Then a few more months pass and the wedding is getting closer and closer. Jane still has not received any formal word on the wedding. At the next girls’ night out, she asks a friend whether she has received an invite. Neither of them had. Not much later in the evening, the bride-to-be breaks the news that her and her fiancé had to cut the guest list down and neither Jane nor her friend made the cut.

Would you understand? (Planning a wedding is expensive, after all.)  Or would you be mad that the bride-to-be ever shared any info in the first place? Would you want the bride to let you know or just play it off like nothing ever happened? Rant or rave. We want to hear your take!

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6 thoughts on “Having a Wedding Invitation Revoked: Rant or Rave

  1. Paige

    Tacky. Tacky. Tacky. I understand budget constraints, family obligations, and guest list quandries. What I don’t understand are brides-to-be with mouths that won’t stay shut! You’re engaged? Congratulations! But don’t spill every detail with friends you may not be able to invite. It’s rude, unnecessary, and downright tacky.

  2. Aaron Hunter

    Upset? Yes. Understanding? Maybe.

    The bride to be (BTB) should have told Jane when they made the decision to cut the guest list. Especially since BTB already mentioned the details, down to where Jane was going to be sitting. Common courtesy is appreciated and goes a long way.

  3. Lindsie

    Unfortunately, as engagements get longer and budget restraints get tighter, this seems to become more and more normal. Brides and grooms, excited about their upcoming wedding, discuss it with people before finalizing their guestlists. I think a fair amount of understanding needs to be had on both ends. The bride needs to understand that she hurt her friends, and possibly do something to remind them that they are still important to her, and the friends need to get that sometimes stuff happens.

  4. Julia

    I don’t know, kinda harsh to me..especially considering she told her only a few months before and told her where she was sitting and everything? I understand things can come up, but I say bad planning on her part with the guest list..

  5. Nicky | JAF Gifts

    It’s actually quite normal to cut guest lists down to a minimum, it’s really understandable. The bride-to-be shouldn’t have divulged too much detail, though, to make her friends believe that they’re actually part of her big day. I’d really feel sad if I were in Jane’s shoes, but ultimately, I’d understand what her friend must’ve gone through planning her wedding anyway.

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