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We’ve had a lot of questions trickle in this week about thank you cards, so we’re answering them all in this special edition of Ask Etta. Wondering what to say, send and when? Here’s everything you ever wanted to know about thank you card etiquette.

Response Time

For showers, send thank yous within 10 days of the event. For the wedding, within two weeks of returning from your honeymoon. Always send bridal shower thank yous separate from wedding thank yous, even if they are to the same person.

What to Put Inside?

We know “write from the heart” may be a bit cliche, but it’s a commonly used phrase for a reason! Make it personal. If you’re really stumped, here’s a little formula to work off of:

Greet your guest(s) + express your gratitude and be specific about the gift + thank them for attending (or for thinking of you if they couldn’t make it).

• Let your recipient know how you plan to use the gift. As in, “We use the cappuccino maker every morning. Seriously, we can’t live without it.”
• This goes without saying, but just in case, make sure the person you are thanking for a gift is actually the person who sent it. Other than misspelling a name, nothing is more unflattering than mixing up guest and gift. A smart way to ensure this doesn’t happen is to keep a spreadsheet or write the cards as you receive the gifts.
• Adding a photo will make it extra personal. Don’t be shy with your wedding photos! Guests will love to relive the memories with you.

Monetary Gifts

These go a little differently, but being personal is still the most important. Thank the guest for their generosity, but don’t mention a specific amount. You can even let them know what their contribution will go toward… “Your generosity will help with the down payment for our new condo.”

No Gift?

It’s still important to send a note, thanking them for being a part of your big day. After all, if not for friends and family, who would help you celebrate? And don’t forget your vendors, either–they will also play a special role on your wedding day.

Addressing & Sending

Some tips on titles and envelopes…

• Address each card to the individual who attended or who signed your gift’s card.
• For families, address the envelope to “Mr. and Mrs.” The salutation inside can use their first names. If it’s a more formal relationship, stick to the Mr. and Mrs. greeting inside the note. In the body, be sure to mention the other family members who attended too.
• For an extra chic touch, use specialty stamps.
• Remember to hand-stamp every note–prepaid postage techniques are a bit impersonal.

If you can follow these etiquette tips, you’ll be golden.

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Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at etta@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.

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Our pick for a tropical, beachy wedding is the Dune gown from J. Crew Bridal in a pleated silk chiffon, with a cascading organza flower trim. The floor length cut will be easy to manage, while the breezy, flowy fabric will look effortlessly glamourous.

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Margaret Asks…

I am having a destination wedding in Acapulco. Is it necessary to give favors to the guests? I don’t want to bring a lot of extra stuff with me.

Etta Says…

While favors aren’t mandatory, it is a nice gesture to thank your guests—especially considering guests will be traveling to get to the wedding. The favors don’t need to be elaborate or expensive, but rather a token of appreciation. One idea is to get local goodies in your wedding location—you could buy Mexican wedding cookies and package them while you’re there. Another idea is to go with the travel theme and use luggage tags that double as escort cards and favors (like the picture above). A fairly small item that serves two purposes will help save on precious luggage space.

P.S. One great way to add a personal touch to your local favors is to top them off with a gift tag that includes your names or initials and wedding date. Plus, they are small enough to stick in your purse or carry on.

Hope that helps!

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Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at etta@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.

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