March 24

Diva Dish: Sending Invitations to the B-list

Dear Divas,

My aunt is throwing me a bridal shower in a couple of weeks.  We’ve already sent out all the invitations and even received some responses.  Because a few of those were regrets, we now have room on the guest list to invite more people.  Is it ok if I send an invite now, even though the shower is only 2 weeks away and it might be obvious that they weren’t on our first draft guest list?  These people aren’t necessarily expecting an invitation, and might even be surprised to be invited, but I’d love to have them there.  Help!

Better Late than Never?


Dear Better Late than Never,

This can be a tricky situation, and might end up being more trouble than it’s worth.

To start, you’ll have to look at each late invitee on a case by case basis.  For example, if you were to invite someone who already knew other people that were invited to the shower in the original round, it might be very obvious that they were a late invite.  It could appear more offensive to be a B-list guest as opposed to not being invited at all.  On the other hand, if you’re inviting someone who has no ties to already-invited guests, the risk of them finding out they are a B-lister is very small.  They will probably just be pleased to receive an invitation!

You’ll also need to take the amount of time between invitation and party in to consideration.  If your shower is only 2 weeks away, your guests probably won’t receive the invitations for a few days.  That’s less than 2 weeks–pretty short notice for an invitation to any party.  That in itself could give away their B-list status.  It’s also fairly inconsiderate to guests who already have busy schedules and will have to find gifts, babysitters and more to make sure they’re ready for the party.

As you can see, sometimes adding to the guest list on short notice is more trouble than it’s worth.  If these people weren’t important enough to include from the start, chances are good you probably shouldn’t complicate things by adding them later.  Having a B-list is ok as long as there is ample time to invite them and chances are slim they’ll find out they’re second best!  When planning the wedding, having a B-list is very common because invitations are sent 6-8 weeks prior to the event, however your shower is on a short timeline.

Whatever you decide, good luck and happy planning!


One thought on “Diva Dish: Sending Invitations to the B-list

  1. Olam Nyliram

    I was recently invited to a shower just a week beforehand. Rather than cry about what list I am on, I was honored to attend. They were fortunate to be graced with my presence. Two people brought the same gift as me, fml.


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