Archive for the ‘Tips from a Groomsman’ Category

One Suit for All: Tips from a Groomsman

5:19:08 by Contributors | 1 Comment

We’ve decided it’s time to show a little love for the guys. Each month, we’ll share tips and stories from real-life groomsmen about what it’s like to be part of a friend’s wedding. So listen up groomsmen-to-be, this is for you!

Fact: If you have a large, tight-knit group of guy friends, you can count on being a groomsman several times through your mid-30s. A coworker just told me he was just in his eighth (!) wedding party—and that blew my mind.

Having just been a groomsman for the third time, I can honestly say that it’s a fantastic experience I will of course always remember… enough manly mayhem for a lifetime. But some things need to change.

On average, I’ve spent about $2,000 for each wedding—hotels, bachelor parties, days off and suits can add up quickly. Now much of this cost is unavoidable, and we’re usually at the mercy of hotel and airline rates. But there’s one thing guys can sync up on: attire.

Of the three weddings I was in, I had to wear three entirely different suits approximating $700 total. One was a $140 rental that included what could only be described as “Hammer Pants.” Another was a decent suit that I had to purchase outright, only to arrive at the wedding with a different shade of gray than the other groomsmen. These costs add up and at the end of the day, I don’t have much to show for it in my closet.

Here’s an idea. When the first dude in your friend crew gets engaged, all the guys get together and decide on one really nice suit to sport at every future wedding (within your group of friends). This would save everyone hundreds of dollars in the long run, and minimize annoying alterations and customer service fiascos. And the best part? Everyone gets a fashionable suit they can potentially wear for decades to come.

I know what you’re thinking. People have vastly different personal wedding taste(s). But the beautiful thing is that a killer suit looks timeless, especially when altered by a good tailor. And often it’s the ties that match the wedding theme or bridesmaid dresses, with shoes, vests, socks and other accessories adding individual style.

All it would take is a little communication and planning. Considering my aforementioned coworker probably spent at least $150 for attire at each of his eight wedding experiences, he could have been rocking a slick $1,200 suit that most guys would kill for.

Wouldn’t that be worth it?

Brotherly Love: Tips from a Groomsman

1:54:33 by Contributors | No Comments

We’ve decided it’s time to show a little love for the guys. Each month, we’ll share tips and stories from real-life groomsmen about what it’s like to be part of a friend’s wedding. So listen up groomsmen-to-be, this is for you!

I’ve been an usher, a groomsmen and a groom. Being a groom was definitely my favorite, but just to be involved is an honor. It’s also a lot of fun. It’s like having a VIP pass to your friend’s most important life experience. One question is always inevitable: “What does a groomsman do?”

It’s an excellent question, and I’m afraid far too many guys don’t really know. The primary duties include planning a bachelor party, donning a tux, smiling for the camera and getting people out on the dance floor. There’s another duty, however, that I feel needs to be discussed, and that is to say, “Thank you.”

When the groom chose you to be his groomsman, he bestowed upon you one of the highest honors in the male social order. It’s a gracious gesture that deserves to be responded to in-kind. Here is how I propose you do it:

Man up. This means no sarcasm, mumbling under your breath or immediately switching the topic of conversation. Say it like you mean it, and let it sink in. For some guys, this may be the first emotionally mature conversation they ever have—think of it as a rite of passage into manhood.

Be thoughtful. Challenge yourself to say a bit more than, “I love you, Man.”  Maybe that says it all, but at least give this some concerted thought before you say it.

Keep it simple. Building on the previous point, say as much or as little as you feel is necessary to get your point across, but short and sweet sometimes has the greatest impact.

Say it while you’re sober. Before you crack the first beer at the bachelor party, or take that first sip of champagne on the big day, let him know how important his friendship is to you.  You’ll be happy you did.

The Best Man’s Toast: Tips from a Groomsman

3:57:39 by Contributors | 2 Comments

We’ve decided it’s time to show a little love for the guys. Each month, we’ll share tips and stories from real-life groomsmen about what it’s like to be part of a friend’s wedding. So listen up groomsmen-to-be, this is for you!

So you’re the best man. You’ve planned a bacchanalia of a bachelor party that was just short of an appearance by Dionysus himself. You’ve allowed nary a minute go by without double-checking (and triple-checking) your pocket to ensure that ring is still present. You’ve posed in so many photographs that the old adage about your facial expressions getting “stuck” is starting to hold some water.

But you have one last responsibility before you can let loose and do something that would make a viable attempt at public office a distant memory: the best man’s toast.

Prepare. More than an hour before the reception.

Start writing your speech in the week leading up to the wedding—a good idea would be to keep it as a draft email and make little edits as they come to mind.

Keep it simple. If you are not routinely compared to Oscar Wilde leave the wit and humor out—it will be unnatural and contrived. Bawdy remarks are best suited for the bachelor party and any overly esoteric inside jokes should remain limited.

Once you’ve written your remarks, practice them! More than once. Out loud. Find an audience if you can. You’ll want to ensure it flows well and does not go much longer than one to two minutes.

Print out a copy of your speech and put it in your pocket—however, do not take it out when it’s time to toast the bride and groom. Deliver it from memory—your oration will be infinitely more natural and you shouldn’t stumble over your words if you’ve practiced enough.

And finally, don’t forget to drink from your own glass after the toast!