My fiancee and I are having two separate receptions due to the fact that she lives in one country and I in another.  Given geographies and differing religions we decided to have the main ceremony and reception in her country since she comes from a much larger family.  Here in the US we will have a small symbolic religious ceremony and a cocktail reception afterward as more of a “get to know the bride” type reception.

Since we will already be married when we have the US reception, I’m not sure what to have written on the invitation.  Any suggestions?

Thanks,

Wondering Wanderer

Dear Wondering Wanderer,

Lucky you!  Two weddings to plan in two different countries!  Thankfully, the wording is not very complicated in this situation.  Instead of listing your name and your fiancee’s maiden name, you’d simply list yourselves as Mr. and Mrs (insert married name here).  You’d also change the wording of what exactly you’re inviting your guests to attend.  Instead of saying “the wedding of” or “the marriage of”, you can say something like “to recognize their marriage of” or “to celebrate their marriage”.  For example:

Mr. and Mrs. Wondering Wanderer

Request the pleasure of your company

to celebrate their marriage.

Good luck and happy planning!

a

I am having a destination wedding on a beach in the tropics, and I’m trying to find some bridesmaid dresses that will make all 6 of my girls happy.  We’ve been looking for months and I’m starting to get frustrated.  I want them all to be happy with the dresses, so I’ve let them send out options on their own.  We’ve been looking at “real” bridesmaid dresses, but I prefer to get dresses from a department store so that they can be worn again.  The problem is, no one ever agrees on anything!  Three girls will love the dress, 2 will be ok with it, and one will hate it.  I don’t want to force them to wear something that any of them will hate, so until now I’ve avoided making a final decision.  However, we’re getting down to the wire and we need to find something soon.  I could just pick a dress but I fear that they’ll be upset since I made it clear that they had free reign over dress selection.  How do I keep everyone happy and still get the dresses bought?

Dress Disaster

Dear Dress Disaster,

First of all, it’s very sweet of you to try so hard to find a dress that will perfectly fit each of your bridesmaid’s likes and dislikes.  However, as you’ve seen, it’s nearly impossible to find one dress that will match 6–actually, 7 (you have to like it too!)–individual tastes.  Women come in all different shapes and sizes and style preferences are even more varied.

At this point in the game, you just need a decision made.  It’s ok to bring some kind of order to the madness that is the dress selection.  Instead of letting your bridesmaids have free reign to throw dress suggestions out at their whim, why not select a list of 10 dresses that you love.  Email all of your ‘maids and ask them to vote on their top three.  At the end of the day, you’ll have a dress that not only you are sure to like, but that the majority of your maids will like too.  You can even ask them to list their three least favorite dresses–maybe it will help you to avoid selecting one that any of them will “hate”.

Another option is to go with a “real” bridesmaid dress (although I know you were trying to avoid that).  The upside is that you can have the dresses all made in the same fabric but in different styles.  That way, each girl will be wearing something that flatters her own body shape.
Finally, be sure to check out J. Crew’s bridesmaid line.  These chic dresses are perfect for weddings but can easily double as an any-occassion dress.  Good luck!

a

From Left to Right, Top to Bottom:  Vintage Orange Floral Necklaces; Modern Stripes Letterpress Wedding Invitation in Orange from Wedding Paper Divas;  Sand and Flower centerpieces from Pacific Weddings; Fall Basketweave Cake from Sweet Retreat; Yellow wedding shoes and socks from Jonathan Canlas Photography;  Orange bridesmaid dresses from Trendsetting Wedding.

For more on this gorgeous color palette, check out Pacific Weddings “Color Splash” post.  I can’t get enough!

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There is one exception: when it comes to the officiant of your wedding, you should always count him/her and their significant other as an invited guest.  Send them an invitation like you would to any of your other guests. They’re the only vendor allowed to even go near the bar as well!  You definitely don’t want a drunk photographer taking your wedding photos.

Personally, I spoke to each of my vendors individually about their preferences.  I offered them the opportunity for one of the menu items and a seating arrangement.  In the end, all of my vendors preferred having a sandwich/condiments/hour d’oeuvres tray that they could quickly grab a bite from in a private section of the reception hall.  Whatever you choose, know that they’re all bound to be appreciative of your thoughtfulness (and maybe even do an extra-excellent job!).  Happy planning!

a

One tip that we’ve seen is to rent your wedding accessories instead of buying them.  I personally love this idea; Although having a special necklace or bracelet on your wedding day can serve as an excellent keepsake, you might not want to shell out for every piece of jewelry that you’ll be wearing.  From dresses to handbags, jewelry to hairpieces, rentals are available across the country.  Check out some of our favorites:

• Avelle (formerly known as Bag, Borrow or Steal) has a special section of their website dedicated specifically to wedding rentals.  From handbags to extravagant jewelry, they have everything you’ll need to make you feel like a princess on your big day.

• Adorn Brides offers rental jewelry in all shapes and sizes.  They even have matching sets for both brides and bridesmaids!

• Many brides opt to Rent their Bridal Gown.  Often, this will include shoes and a headpiece/veil.  Most of these stores are local, so I suggest doing a search in your local area for a bridal gown rental store.  One example is Fairy Godmother Gown Rentals, located in the San Francisco Bay Area.  They’ll even deliver your dress directly to your door!

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• When you husband-to-be proposes with a sparkling engagement ring, you cry tears of  joy.  The next day, you return it to the jeweler to get a bigger diamond.  After all, the size dictates how much he really loves you, right?

• Huge chunks of your day at work are spent dealing with multiple wedding “crisis”, resulting in frustrated co-workers, managers and employers.

• Your fiance is letting you do all the planning; The only thing he cares about is the cake flavor.  Cake is his absolute favorite, especially lemon cake.  You hate lemon, so you go with chocolate instead.

• You schedule an appointment to get hair and makeup done for your bridal shower.  Your mom decides she wants to do the same.  You throw a screaming fit because “I’m supposed to be the center of attention, NOT you!”.

• Your wedding dress has finally arrived after months of waiting.  After one glance, you decide it looks too similar to your cousin’s wedding dress.  Although this dress isn’t returnable, you demand a new one.  Your parents are paying for it.

• Your friend, one of your bridesmaids, gets engaged during your planning process.   Instead of being happy for her, you are furious because it takes the spotlight away from you.

• The night before your bachelorette party, one of your bridesmaids tells you she’s sick.  You demand she attend the party anyway, fever or no fever.

• You make your bridesmaids sign a contract prior to agreeing to have them in your wedding.  The contract requires them to maintain the same weight and hair-do, refrain from any tattoos or piercing and be there to help you at a moment’s notice until the wedding is over.

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I am going to a beach wedding this summer and I’ve been searching for a light, airy dress to wear for weeks.  Since white is very in style right now, I see it everywhere–and I love it.  I can’t seem to find a dress I like that ISN’T white.  So, my question is:  Is it OK if I wear white to the wedding?  What if it’s a sun dress style–not remotely bridal? What about primarily white with accent colors? Help!

Wondering About White

Dear Wondering About White:

Ahhh, the age-old question:  Can you wear white to a wedding?  My first instinct is to say no.  The bride has spent months planning her wedding, choosing a dress, and ensuring that she will sparkle and shine on her wedding day.  To detract any attention from her seems mildly disrespectful, both to her feelings and the time she spent planning the wedding.  Particularly in the case of a beach wedding, many dresses tend to be more casual, so a sundress may not look that drastically different from the wedding dress.  However, I do feel there are exceptions to this rule.  A dress that is white with accent colors most likely will not resemble a wedding gown, and therefore is ok to wear.  Use your best judgement and take the person getting married, the style of wedding and your personal style in to account–is the bride the type that wants all eyes on her?  Could the dress you’re considering double for a wedding gown?  Do you have other options available to you that would still fit your style?  If  you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are good you should not be wearing white.

In general I would err on the side of caution–this is someone you care about getting married–although white might be in style, you don’t want to wear it and risk the feelings of a friend.   There are plenty of other colors that are “in style”–have you considered gray?  Very stylish and subtle.  I remember a woman at my wedding wearing a white evening gown.  Although she wouldn’t have been mistaken for the bride, it still irked me slightly.  It seemed thoughtless, almost as though she gave no thought to the type of event she was attending–and I’m not even the type that would care that much!  As the old saying goes, better safe than sorry!   Good luck!

a

Two such people are Illinois residents Ilana Jackson and Jerermy Fierstien.  A mere 48 hours before their wedding, the couple tested positive for Swine Flu.  In spite of their unfortunate condition, they decided to move forward with their wedding, donning face masks and latex gloves throughout the ceremony and reception.  Determined to make the most of a bad situation, they even gave out hand sanitizer as wedding favors!

I’m so impressed by the positive attitude of these two people.  Knowing me, I’d have a complete breakdown and halt the wedding if both my husband and I contracted an illness that required me to wear something over my face on my wedding day.  This is true evidence to support the saying, ‘Love conquers all!”.
What do you think?  Would you move forward with your wedding if you had Swine Flu or a similar illness?

a

1) Birdseed:  Although this doesn’t solve the problem of cleanup, it’s not nearly as slippery as rice and, obviously, not dangerous to birds.  Plus, it’s simple to make.  You can purchase large quantities of birdseed and any nursery or home improvement store.  Then, diving and conquer–package the birdseed into small favor bags and tie with a pretty ribbon.  You can even attach a sticker to tag to complete the look.  Try these great Polka Dot Organza Bags from Beau-coup.

2)  Flower Petals:  Another simple yes beautiful alternative to rice:  flower petals.  You can order petals from any florist in bulk.  Package them the same way you would the birdseed (see above) and you’ll have an environmentally-friendly ceremony toss with gorgeous color!

3)  Bubbles:  OK, not so DIY…but still adorable!  Blowing bubbles on the bride and groom requires no cleanup and still produces a gorgeous effect.  My favorites are these Wedding Bubble Tubes from Beau-coup.

4) Sparklers:  Admittedly, some parents may not be thrilled to have handfuls of sparklers in close proximity to their children, so proceed with caution based on your guest list.  However, if you have an adult-only wedding, this is an amazing alternative to rice.  I’ve seen some amazing wedding photography with all the guests wielding sparklers around the happy couple (see below!).  Plus, so easy to DIY…check out this tip from Martha Stewart Weddings:

“These can also be used as favors for the guests at an evening wedding, where they can be given out along with printed matchboxes or matchbooks. Tape a sparkler to the back of each matchbox to keep them from sliding about, and tie with a ribbon.”

a