October 23

Ask Etta: Engagement Party Etiquette

While we dish about the hottest trends and latest designs, we also know how stressful prepping for the big day can be. Meet Etta, our expert in all things etiquette. She’s ready to delve into your every dilemma.

Rachel Asks…

I have been to so many engagement parties and I am still not sure what the etiquette is for gifts. Do I need to bring a gift to the engagement party?

Etta Says…

This is a tricky question but it usually depends. In the past, engagement gifts were not expected and this is still primarily the case. However, in many parts of the country this custom has changed almost into a “must.” It can be tricky since gift instructions are not included on the invitation so the best thing to do is check with the host. If the engaged couple is worried about their friends spending too much money they will often tell the host that they prefer “no gifts.” Also, some areas have different traditions so you can also check with a local wedding planner for more insight.

In the end, it is your decision on whether or not to give an engagement gift and depends on local customs, your relationship with the newly engaged couple, and even your budget. Keep in mind it is common for close friends and family member to bring a gift.

An engagement gift should really be a kindhearted gesture of affection and it doesn’t need to be expensive or elaborate.  In addition, simple gifts such as a cookbook of their favorite cuisine or a nice bottle of wine are great engagement gifts. You can also bring a thoughtful engagement card and it can show just as much appreciation.


Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at etta@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.




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