November 20

Ask Etta: Bride To Be Asking Bridesmaids to Lose Weight

While we dish about the hottest trends and latest designs, we also know how stressful prepping for the big day can be. Meet Etta, our expert in all things etiquette. She’s ready to delve into your every dilemma.

Cindy Asks…

My friend has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids but is starting to ask for things that are a little too extreme. She is asking me to highlight my hair and asked another bridesmaid to lose five pounds. She has also asked us to get our hair and makeup done at a very expensive salon. How do I handle this?

Etta Says…

It is definitely understandable for brides to want their special day to be flawless and over obsess over the details. They want to make sure there photographs are perfect and that means asking for small but extreme favors and requests from the bridal party. Keep in mind that your situation could be worse. We have heard of brides asking for some of their bridesmaids to have their teeth whitened, hold off getting pregnant and so much more. These are all of course wrong things to ask of your closest friends but we have seen it happen.

I think the best thing for you to do is set up a time to meet with the bride and the rest of the bridal party and voice your concerns. Keep in mind she might not even realize her requests are over the top and might be a little offended so try and be as sweet as you can. Try and be as rational and level headed as you can when you describe how the requests are not doable for you and the rest of the bridal party. If the issue is money and the salon is out of your budget try and come up with a compromise and go to a salon that is less expensive.

In some cases the bride might stick to her word and insist on having her bridesmaid follow her instructions. If it boils down to this you have to make the decision to proceed graciously and do it for your friend or “resign” from the bridal party-but hopefully it doesn’t need to come to this. If you do end up declining her offer to be a bridesmaid try not to point any fingers at this time so you do not end up jeopardizing your friendship. It is very common for people to do irrational things when they are under a lot of stress and your friend could someday apologize for her bossy behavior. Hope this helps and good luck!

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Have an etiquette question for Etta? Email us at etta@weddingpaperdivas.com and she’ll post an answer for you.

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