May 23

Addressing the +1 Dilemma: Today’s Diva Dish

Over the weekend, we asked you on our Facebook page what you had to cut in order to stay within your budget. One reader’s response posed an etiquette question that we’ve seen time and again…

Many people put children and plus one—exactly how do you politely indicate additional guests (plus one) aren’t included? There is no way we can cut children, but there are A LOT of plus ones that we could do away with. How do you go about doing that in a tasteful manner?

Thank you in advance!


Not to worry, Brandi. Our etiquette experts have a few solutions for you…

The most traditional, etiquette friendly way is to address only that person’s name on the inner envelope. When allowing people a “plus one” write “and guest” on the envelope. Since most people aren’t as familiar with that formality, you can limit it on the response card or include a small note. We’ve seen people add a note on their response cards along the lines of: “Unfortunately, due to space constraints in our venue, we are unable to accommodate additional guests.”

You can also tell each guest how many are invited, using these formats: “We have reserved ____ seats for you.” You could enter “1” there for people who aren’t allowed to bring a date or you can use “___ of ___ will attend.” In the second blank, you write the total invited (1 for single, 4 for family with kids, etc.) The guest will fill in the first blank with their response of how many will be able to come.

We hope this helps!

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to and we’ll post an answer for you.


2 Comments   |   Posted in: Diva Dish
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About Jessy

Hometown: St. Louis, MO Favorite Color: Pistachio Favorite Movie Wedding Moment: The airplane scene in The Wedding Singer Jessy is a Jr. Writer at Tiny Prints. When she was seven, she declared herself "Jessy" (from her given name, Jessica) because she wanted to be a little different. Which is exactly what led her to Tiny Prints-her love for all things unique, memorable and personal! Letterpress printing makes her swoon and she has an affinity for fresh designs with a hint of vintage. In addition to her passion for paper goods, Jessy loves dogs, llamas, autumn, farmers' markets, live music, skeleton keys, extra sprinkles, beating boys in sports, running, antique stores and a book that’s hard to put down.

2 thoughts on “Addressing the +1 Dilemma: Today’s Diva Dish

  1. A Southern Soiree Wedding Planning

    It’s a tough issue and can lead to some difficult conversations, especially if handled poorly. We tackled it in our blog recently, but you have some excellent new ideas here with the “space constraints” and “we have reserved X seats”. Thanks, and we’ll be sure to retweet this!

  2. Danielle

    I don’t think any of these options really abide by ettiquite. Just because other people have bad ettiquite don’t mean you have to have bad ettiquite to head them off. Address the envelopes as in the post, and if they don’t know the rule, then you really just have to bite the bullet and give them a call and say “I’m sorry, but we cannot accommodate extra guests at the wedding.” You don’t have to give reasons like space or budget, the simpler the better! 🙂


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