Today’s Diva Dish came from a Facebook fan who’s getting ready to address her wedding invitations:
Hi Divas,
Ladies first, right? (names on the invites, that is).
-Angela
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We’re glad you asked, Angela. For most of the addressing that we have seen, this is actually not the case! Here’s what we recommend…
For married couples, it is typical to have the husband’s name first:
Formal (with titles): Mr. & Mrs. Patrick James
Casual: Patrick & Alyssa James
For unmarried couples, it is usually suggested that the person whom the couple is closest to is first.
If couple is closest to the male, or if couple is equally close to both people, the male name is usually first:
Formal: Mr. Javier Ramirez & Ms. Melinda Torres
Casual: Javier Ramirez & Melinda Torres
If couple is closest to female:
Formal: Ms. Jamie McGuff & Mr. Tony Pederson
Casual: Jamie McGuff & Tony Pederson
If guest’s name is unknown, then known name is always first:
Formal: Ms. Lindsey Quill & Guest
Casual: Lindsey Quill & Guest
If couple is choosing to include children and/or family, typically they will add the following when addressing the invitations:
Mr. & Mrs. Patrick Jones and family
We hope this helps. Happy envelope addressing!
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Comments
Tags: addressing envelopes, dear divas, Diva Dish, wedding etiquette, Wedding Planning
Disagree! The man’s first and last names are never supposed to be separated, AND it’s supposed to be ladies first. Alyssa & Patrick James. It’s like splitting the infinitive (i.e. to boldly go is bad grammar) And I have never heard of addressing it to whomever you’re closer too first.
AND that’s wrong how you have the unmarried couples – the & and having them on the same line implies it’s a married couple where the wife hasn’t taken her husband’s name. It should be:
Melinda Torres
Javier Ramirez
123 State Street
Anytown CA 12345
I have actually done some research on this too, having just had to address and mail my own wedding invitations. Here are what some of the top wedding etiquette resources say about addressing envelopes:
The knot.com
For married couple: “The traditional address wording is “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe”, only using the husband’s first name. It’s completely appropriate to include the wife’s first name as well — it’s not tacky, it’s gracious. “John and Jane Doe” reads a bit more smoothly than “Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe”, but it’s true that the titles make it more formal.”
Emily Post:
“The outer envelope is the one that is addressed and stamped, while the inner envelope bears only the names of those people. For example, a married couple’s inner envelope is addressed to ‘Mr. and Mrs. Anderson’”
For unmarried couples, The knot.com:
“When you’re inviting a couple who lives together — or a married couple with different last names, or an engaged couple for that matter — list each name on a separate line on the outer envelope, alphabetically by last name, like so:
Mr. Richard Buxton
Ms. Ariel Dekovic
Put the names on the same line on the inner envelope, sans first names:
Mr. Buxton and Ms. Dekovic”
Emily Post:
“Invitations to an unmarried couple who reside at the same address should be addressed to ‘Ms. Nancy Fellows’ and ‘Mr. Scott Dunn’ with each name appearing on a separate line”
Either resource mentions that the ladies’ name must come first, I think it’s based more upon what you feel more comfortable with when addressing your guests.