May 9

A Save the Date Dilemma: Today’s Diva Dish

When it comes to numbers and guest lists, we know etiquette can get a little sticky. Take this reader’s question into consideration…


I have a wedding invitation etiquette question.  I sent out save the date cards a few months ago.  If someone tells me that they cannot attend the wedding based on the save the date card, do I still send them a wedding invitation?

Thank you!


Thanks so much for writing in, Courtney!

Luckily, this etiquette question has a pretty simple solution. Our experts agree that it’s still necessary to send a formal wedding invitation, even if your guest tells you they won’t be able to attend after receiving your save the date. Not only is it a nice formality, but leaving them off your invite list after you’ve already sent them a save the date may result in (easily avoidable) hurt feelings. Plus, you never know if their plans will change!

Do you agree with our advice for Courtney? What would you recommend? Leave us a comment and let us know!

Do you have a question for our wedding experts? Send your etiquette, wedding planning or style dilemma to and we’ll post an answer for you.


5 Comments   |   Posted in: Diva Dish
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About Jessy

Hometown: St. Louis, MO Favorite Color: Pistachio Favorite Movie Wedding Moment: The airplane scene in The Wedding Singer Jessy is a Jr. Writer at Tiny Prints. When she was seven, she declared herself "Jessy" (from her given name, Jessica) because she wanted to be a little different. Which is exactly what led her to Tiny Prints-her love for all things unique, memorable and personal! Letterpress printing makes her swoon and she has an affinity for fresh designs with a hint of vintage. In addition to her passion for paper goods, Jessy loves dogs, llamas, autumn, farmers' markets, live music, skeleton keys, extra sprinkles, beating boys in sports, running, antique stores and a book that’s hard to put down.

5 thoughts on “A Save the Date Dilemma: Today’s Diva Dish

  1. J (Sparkly Love)

    I totally agree. We had this issue with our wedding. A couple of people told my parents after the Save the Dates went out that they had plans that weekend (we are getting married on 4th of July so I anticipated that some people would have plans.) We still sent them all invites, just in case their plans fall through or they change their mind. Would hate to have them call later and say “guess what, I CAN come!” and then have to squeeze them into a table somewhere!


    I have a question that falls on the heels of this question. do you send a formal invitation to someone who ignored your save the date? never mentioned they received it or responded when you asked?

  3. mia

    Though it may be a nice gesture to still send them a invite,if they told you based off the save the date that they can’t attend,then there’s no point of sending them an invitation. Especially if its not in your budget. Also that invite can go to someone who is actually able to make the wedding. However if there plans change then they should address you about info regarding the wedding. Its not the job of a busy bride to follow behind ppl who already said they can’t come.

  4. Cara

    I agree with Mia. We had people who let us know they would have loved to attend, but they had other things going on (other weddings, graduations, pre-planned trips, etc.). We knew there was no way those people could make it, so we made room for others on our list who could. (We have a SUPER strict, very small limit for guest numbers :(… ). They weren’t upset about it.

  5. Pingback: A Save the Date Dilemma: Today's Diva Dish « Wedding Style … | Wedding Invitations Stationary

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