June 2

A Bride’s Diary: Mr. & Mrs. Johnson…and Baby?

Wedding Paper Divas is full of staff brides who are currently planning their weddings. We’re happy to share their stories with you as a part of this new feature!

My fiancé and I recently went to one of our friend’s wedding. It was a nice, small wedding ceremony with their friends and family. Then, in the middle of the ceremony, a baby cried. The parents tried to clam the baby down with no success. Minutes later, another baby cried. The ceremony was inside a museum too, so you can imagine the echo in there. I was no longer paying attention to my friends’ vows . I had lost my focus, and all I could think about during the ceremony while glaring at the parents was, “Why aren’t you taking your baby outside?”

After the ceremony, the first thing my fiancé said to me was, “No babies at our wedding.” I couldn’t blame him. I was pretty annoyed myself. I couldn’t hear anything over the screaming babies. It’s a justified and rational reason to not want a baby at a wedding. Can you imagine watching your wedding video 10 years later and hearing a crying baby while you and your fiancé are exchanging vows? But is it fair for me to not invite my friends’ babies? What about my cousins’ babies? I ran this by my mom just to see what my parents’ generation thought.

“How can you tell people not to bring their kids to a wedding? Who’s going to watch their kids?” she asked.

“They can always hire a babysitter, Mom,” I said.

“If you’re telling them not to bring their kids to the wedding, you’re basically telling them not to come. Period,” was her reply.

I don’t quite agree with my mom’s opinion, but she does have a point. What if my friends don’t trust their baby to a sitter yet? That probably means they won’t come. Then I thought back to the parents at my friends’ weddings. Maybe they didn’t want to miss the wedding either…

Sure, your wedding is about you and your fiancé and the wonderful life you are going to start together, but you also want your family and friends to be there to enjoy the special day, too. So you really need to consider all the pros and cons. What’s worse—a screaming baby or not seeing your close friends and family at your wedding?

Whatever you plan to do, baby or no baby, it’s something to think about. If you do go with the no baby route, be sure to talk to your friends or family members who have babies early on in the game. You can’t assume that your guests will know what you’re hinting at when the invitation says “Mr. & Mrs. Johnson.” It won’t be pretty when your guest enters a “3″ in the “People Attending” line of your RSVP cards when you only wanted them to write “2″.

Plus, there are etiquette rules out there on how to handle these kinds of situations, including how to word it nicely on your wedding invitations so no feelings get hurt). If you’re concerned, you can always call us here at Wedding Paper Divas for free etiquette advice. Remember that you’re not alone… just be sure to do your research!

When did planning a wedding get so complicated?

Meet Becky

Becky and Erick met eight years ago through their parents. Both of their parents were into performing Chinese Opera along with Erick, and all three of them were in the same opera association. During the summer of 2001, Becky volunteered to help out backstage during a performance where she first saw Erick, but he didn’t notice her at first (he claims she was never there!). The two eventually started to hang out more during the summer of 2002. They started out as friends, and then started dating when Becky joined Erick in Southern California for school. Seven years later, they’re engaged!

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4 Comments   |   Posted in: Bride's Diary, Wedding Planning
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About Katie

Katie M. is a Writer at Wedding Paper Divas. She has the privilege of viewing nearly every piece of stationery before it goes up on the website, giving her the ultimate inside scoop on upcoming trends in the stationery world. She loves classic designs with a surprising twist, and enjoys finding new ways to express her ever-evolving personal style—a blend of traditional glamour and bohemian whimsy that makes Wedding Paper Divas a perfect fit! In addition to her love for writing, Katie is obsessed with health and fitness, skincare, UC Santa Barbara, all things adorable, the beach, dancing, cooking, getting real mail, fresh flowers, discount shopping, and shoes (who isn’t?). Katie is a contributing editor to Diva Dialogue. Be sure to check out her recurring feature, “Rant or Rave.”

4 thoughts on “A Bride’s Diary: Mr. & Mrs. Johnson…and Baby?

  1. katie

    I agree…babies can be pesty. But as a mother planning her wedding with the father of her children… I ended up saying babies could come. Okay long story short, my save the dates to my destination wedding went out and I put Adult Only Wedding and Reception. Then as friends and family brought it up I decided I would hire a babysitter and give them that option. It turns out that most people want the weekend away from the children! Only neices and nephews are coming and my children. I may decide to not even hire a babysitter… although I might, just because we all want to party.

    But about you saying in howeer many years when you’re watching a video of your wedding do you want to hear a crying baby… well seriously, if you’re that caught up on a baby crying and not on the vows you’re taking or the love and happiness in the room, well then that’s your bad. In the long run, a crying baby will hardly be the highlight or the biggest disappointment of your day.

    Also, don’t be afraid to be picky. Say adult only, but if your bff or cousin who lives across country is coming tell them its fine to bring their children. I’ve been to weddings where the inite said adult only, so we got a babysitter, only to find children there. That didn’t bother me. But I have been invited to family parties that said adult only and that bothered me. They knew I wouldn’t be able to come, and my feeling were hurt. As much as I understand…its just a delicate subject… handle with care.

  2. Katie Post author

    Thanks for the wise words, Katie! It’s definitely a delicate subject whether you’re a guest or the host, so we appreciate your advice.

  3. Susan Ella

    One option would be to do an adults only ceremony so there are no interruptions with crying babies and then invite babies/kids to the reception. Let’s face it, the ceremony part is BORING for kids anyway. Once they are at the reception, let them run around and dance! There will be music and so much activity that no one’s going to notice if a baby cries every once in a while. For destination weddings (I was just invited to one that was adults only so I am speaking from experience here), I would recommend that the couple offer babysitting services for guests with babies and younger kids that they do not feel comfortable leaving at home and being away from for an entire weekend (or even longer). Good luck!

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